My mother lies constantly to me and about me and my children to others. I am 41 now, and when I was 20 she told me that she gave a child up for adoption in 1969 (I was born and adopted in 1972). This coincided with my finding my own biological mother and it made me feel dreadful for years. I even tried to find her adopted son for many years. My father confirmed just yesterday that this never happened and he also believed that she had lied to me. He had previously remained silent when ever I asked him about it. She has lied about hundreds of things for example she tells people that she takes care of my children and that I cant - which is not true. She knows how important my children are to me. She is very disabled and as I dont trust her to tell me the truth about anything, I have never left my kids with her for longer than a few hours at a time. Still, I have many people tell ne]]me how lucky I am to have such a helpful mother who takes my kids on outings, takes them to get their vaccinations and to receive emergency medical attention (which simply never happened). My mum is constantly ill, constantly in and out of hospital and demands a great deal of sympathy and attention. She has always relied on me to help her get around and to tend to her when she is really ill. I am about to snap - I have had enough of her rubbish, and I feel desperately, painfully hurt by the fact she lies like this and doesn't care that I know she is lying or about how it impacts on me or our relationship.
I have confronted her on several occasions and she responds by telling people close to me that I have mental problems and I make things up to hurt her. If I am honest, she was a physically and emotionally abusive mother for much of my childhood and consistently comments to my friends, my children and my husband that "I suppose she's told you that i used to hit her...she's does that..." when I havent even mentioned it at all. I dont know how to continue without feeling so angry. She has recently gone back into hospital and I find myself feeling extremely angry at her and resentful about past events. I feel teary and lost and I dont know how to resolve any of this.