Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
I would like to help you with your question.
This is a sad, unfortunate situation for this gentleman. But if she is not telling the truth..helping him out because she feels sorry for him...then its not going to end up well for him in the end.
If he lost his wife in a terrible accident..what he needs is genuine support, love and compassion. If she is leading him on...then he has lots of emotional pain in store for him.
Do you trust her? Do you trust what she is saying to you about this guy?
Tell me why you broke up with her...because you couldn't take the deception and cheating any more?
well im just trying to understand her actions i know she needs more from me but i dont know if it is over for us
You say you want her back...am I right in thinking that you want her back IF she gets out of these other relationships and stays true to you?
yes but our relationship will have to be totaly different
Yes...do you know what you need to change?
Do you know what you want to ask her to change?
And do you know that you can only change you? You can ask her to change...to stop being with other men...but it will be up to her to want to change this.
Do you trust her?
well i know she needs more of a commitment from me and more emotional support which im sure she is getting from him
Have you met him?
And yes..it would seem that if you were able to make a commitment to her that would make a difference.
no just seen pictures on facebook she told me all about him and i completly believe her
If he has just come out of a comma..and is grieving the death of his wife....then he truly has little ability to provide her emotional support.
Have you talked to her since Valentine's Day?
Where are things at today?
he has been out of coma 8 or 9 months she said he is a yes man and does everything for her puts her first i cant say i always did that he gives her something she needs
Do you want to be a Yes man...do you want to do everything for her and put her first?
yes to a point
i tried to give her a ring and she made me take it back
this was last week monday
im trying to stay away from her so she can decide what she wants
Sounds like a good thing...to give her time.
just dont know what to do
she told me to date other people
Well...it seems to me that you made a good move by offering her a ring...that certainly shows that you are willing to make a commitment.
so i will
How did you feel when you rejected the ring?
Do you WANT to date other people?
Why do you think she said that to you? Did she say that so that she could continue to date other men?
she told me i reminded her of her ex husbands that sucked
Oh my...that would not be a good thing to be told!
You said that you have been with her for 9 1/2 years...has she always compared you to her exs?
So...tell me...why do you want to be with her if she treats you this way?
very hard to explain this
Yes. After 9 1/2 years....what has made you hesitate to marry her?
And now...after all this time...what makes you want to marry her?
im not sure i had a very bad mirrage and m comparing her to my ex i guess
okay...that makes sense...
i love her she is my best friend im lost without her
even though she compares you to her ex? even if she has someone else living with her?
i wish we could talk on phone
she doesnt compare me to ex
this guy stays with her on weekends
which is what i did she asked me to stay everynight with her and i did not
she asked me to stay every night with her and i refused
can we talk on phone
JustAnswer only operates by computer. We have no ability to talk on the phone.
So do you think she is having him stay on weekends because you won't stay with her?
well it is hard to explain everything on chat
she is trying to move on
Yes...I can understand that it is difficult. But we have no ability to talk via phone.
What do you mean..she is trying to move on...do you mean from you?
he may be a rebound
yes from me
Yes...that could be very true.
Typically...rebound relationships do not last long.
he has done everything she wanted from a man
he has blood flow problems
So...what do you want to do?
Do you want to fight for her?
Do you want to walk away and date other women?
Is she even willing to talk to you or see you?
i do but i dont know if she still wants me things will have to be totally different
i must stay away from her
Is she telling you to stay away from her? Or is that you own choice?
she said she has made a choice to be with this other guy and move on
I am very sorry. This must hurt terribly.
i think she is not thinking strate
That may be very true!
What do you want to do about that?
i dont know what to do
It would seem your best strategy would be to wait for her to come to her senses...to see that this guy is just a rebound guy.
i want to spend my life with her
she is a good person
I can understand why you say that...but at this point she is telling you she doesn't want to be with you.
The only thing you can do here is to go on with your life and wait for this new relationship to fall apart so that you can step back in.
i did not give her enough
What do you think of that?
But right now you can't do anything about that because she has told you that she wants to be with this other guy.
it hurts but i hope it ends soon
You can tell her that you are sorry about that...but you can't do anything to change that unless you get to see her and be with her again.
Yes...I hope it ends soon too.
Is there any last thing I can help you with tonight?
i guess not
I'm sorry that your relationship with the woman you love has ended like this. Like you said, this guy is probably a rebound relationship and it likely won't last that long. Hang in there...
You are welcome.
Take care...stay strong...