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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1473
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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Hello, i am seeking advice on how to help my mother on anger

Customer Question

Hello, i am seeking advice on how to help my mother on anger management, i fear it will affect her health and it has made it extremely difficult for the family. Living with her and communication with her has become intolerable and i have advice her to seek help but she does not want to. She has also fallen into depression because communication between her and her daughters has become terrible and the only thing that occurs is arguments and blaming. I don't know what to do for her but i fear for her health and for the family stability. I am also worried she might want to hurt herself because she say she does not care about her life anymore and that she will hang herself and she can't wait until she dies. She puts blame on my sister and i for being bad daughters and never having the trust and confidence in her, but the problem is that her anger problems and burst about any little situation made it extremely difficult for my sister and i to have communication with her. Please help me. Thank you
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.
Hi, I'd like to help! This must be very hard for you and your sister and probably your mother as well. First, I will tell you that saying she will hang herself is very serious and any comments like this should be taken seriously. When she says things such as this, calling 911 is the best thing to do. If she does not intent to harm herself, this might be what needs to happen in order for her to know that saying things like that is not okay and that you will not tolerate it. If she indeed intends to harm herself then you will be getting her the help she needs. From what you are telling me, it sounds as if she is depressed and very likely does need mental health treatment. How old is your mother? Does she have any mental health diagnoses or medical diagnoses? Is this behavior new or has she been this way for a long time?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I just feel that if i call 9-1-1 it will make it worse because she has threatened to abandon us and leave the house and if we do something like that she is likely to leave on her own and might attempt something against herself. Her anger has been like this for many years but it has gotten worse within the years. She has always yelled and said things that did not seem ok but now she is in depression, withdrawn from us, locks herself in her room all day, does not eat, and when we try to talk to her she yells and talks about death and suicide and that she doesn't want to see us anymore.

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.

I see you listed 47 as your age is that correct? What is your mother's age?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No my age is 19 and my sister is my twin. My mom is the one that is 47.
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.
Being 19 and seeing that your mom needs help is amazing. I would much rather you call 911 and your mom be upset then for her to actually harm herself and you live with the guilt of doing nothing. That can also lead to her getting anger management and getting the help she needs. The way I see it, she has already abandoned you emotionally and relationship wise. She is not being a good mother right now. She won't get better unless she gets help. Have a back up plan in case she does leave or kicks you out. But by all means, you and your sister can have a big influence in getting your mom help.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Is there any way i can seek help for her or contact a place to get help without having to be through 911?
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.
I believe there might be a way and I think it might be confidential. You have to go to the nearest court house and file papers to have your mother court ordered for a psychiatric evaluation. The terminology is different is different states. Basically, you provide the court, in the form of a written statement, of all the concerns you have about your mother. You are as specific as possible, citing specific behavior she has done that causes concern. If the court finds this evidence sufficient, then the judge can order to have an evaluation and follow treatment recommendations. This is the only other way I see getting her help. Ultimately, it would be nice if she got help on her own, but since she won't, then the legal system intervenes.
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.
Please don't forget to accept so I can get credit for my time.

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