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Ask Dr. L Your Own Question

Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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What would you do if your wife found your lying about your

Resolved Question:

What would you do if your wife found your lying about your internet usage and told you to seek help and she refuses to see you until you find some help
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

I am sure you can understand why your wife is upset...you lied and that destroys trust. And she likely wants to have a trusting relationship with you.

Dr. L :

Tell me please what the issue is with you using the internet?

Dr. L :

Has you wife made you leave the house? What kind of help does she want you to get.

Dr. L :

Please give me a little more background here so that I can have a better understanding of what happened.

Dr. L :

Thanks.

Customer:

I have used the internet to talk with people on dating sites. I stopped and then start again. There was a period of time I was not doing anything. But I continue to go back to this behavior. I dont want to hurt my wife and want to stop this behavior. I

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

Thanks for writing back.

Dr. L :

I can understand that your going on dating sites would be hurtful to your wife...and damaging to your marriage. You wrote that your wife wanted you to get help for this. Are you opposed to doing this?

Dr. L :

Likely the very best thing for you...and for her...is that you get some help from a therapist. If you were to go to therapy you would get help understanding what this behavior is about, why it is happening, and help to stop it. It's great that you were able to stop for 6 months! That's real progress...but then when you got in a fight...the old behavior came back. That tells me that you have the ability to stop...but something triggers that old behavior and back it comes.

Dr. L :

It doesn't sound like you are very happy with yourself either....that you want to understand what this is about and want to have a healthy, compassionate and loving relationship with your wife.

Dr. L :

If this is true...then individual therapy is likely the best course of action.

Dr. L :

Let me know what you are thinking...

Dr. L :

Thanks.

Customer:

I agree with you and will search for a therapist in my area to help me with this issue

Dr. L :

Very good.

Dr. L :

I wish you the best!

Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
Dr. L and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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