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It's one of the worst times because my best friend who I relied upon to stay grounded was sexually assaulted herself (I was molested by my brother at age 9) and since then we've grown apart and I have no one to confide in. I saw my therapist the first 3 semesters of college but encountered a limit of 12 session for this academic year because of the university's high demand for counseling services on our campus. I had a sexual assault survivors group meeting this morning with my therapist and so much of me wants to try to see him next week to tell him how bad I feel but am holding back because of his wish to see me open up to asking for help from my peer group instead of running to therapy every time I have a depressive episode. But I'm borderline suicidal right now and don't care for anyone to know that and just want him to reassure me that the nightmares I'm having will go away, that I can get through this.