I'm asking your opinion on what to do about continuing to participate in "family" events where son in law will be present. Christmas, Easter, things like that. My daughter loves to entertain and if I'm not there, she will be hurt. At the same time, being there is about to the point of making me physically ill. Choking down dinner, waiting for the next slam. He doesn't bring on the abuse full force in front of me, but, it's bad enough that I am so uncomfortable, I would rather be anywhere but there! Never a compliment for her hard work, or cooking abilities. Grandson is allowed to use the poorest of table manners. Should I say to her, I can't participate in these family get togethers any longer, or go ahead and go, pretend everything is ok, and suffer through them for her sake? How do I get out of it without hurting her. What can I say to make her understand I can't take seeing what's happening to her.