Hi Bill, thank you for your reply.
I need something more information.
You see, I am not a younger person and have had very good experiences with previous partners. They all have different ways to achieve orgasms. We work on it and we eventually get it right.
This GF, is probably my greatest challenge of them all.
Let me explain in more detail with reference to your suggestions.
Then, I would like to offer my thoughts, and possible action plan.
But as you know, you have had seen a lot more cases than my life experiences and I really need your best estimate of the situation and also your recommendations.
We had candle light dinner in the a beautiful resort in our room. Wine, cheese, fruit, rasin, nuts, conversation, little cuddles and hugs... Massage her feet, calves and thighs... shoulder and neck
It was just a nice easy romantic loving evening. We enjoyed it in itself. We enjoyed the company and conversation.
Long soft kisses... french kisses... ears, neck , breast...touches, feather touches...
Then she gets excited and hurries. She reaches her clitoris and stimulates it to try to achieve orgasm.
On later occassions... I whispered "slowly"..." wait"..."take deep breathes" ... and removes her hand...
and that restraints her for a little time...then back to impatience...and trying to make herself climax...
So much for trantric techniques... sigh
I have performed oral sex
1) wrote the whole alphabet on her virginal area in caps and lower casing
2) Pulled her hood back and licked her hard... This seems better but not as good as strong finger pressure... but still no orgasm via oral sex
3) Massage her labia - inner and outer
4) Massage her G spot simultaneousy...
She says that she can only achieve orgasm via clitoral stimulation and only if her legs were straight out tensed.
That G spot stimulation does nothing for her... I tried with my fingers and her arousal ebbed... I tried a rear position to stimulate her G spot ... and her arousal ebbed.
Asked her to stimulate her clitoris while having intercourse, she says the penetration was good but she cannot feel her clitoris when vaginally stimulated. Moreover, she says she cannot climax with virginal stimulation. Now that is a real challenge!
She straddled me too. Again good but not going to climax.
This is the history:
She is a very attractive and sexy woman of 48. She had not had sexual contact with a man for 14 years. She is not ready, her ex-hubby lives with her and children for the sake of her children... usual reasons...
But she has masturbated every morning to achieve multiple orgasm. To get rid of the sexual tension, have a shower, have breakfast, and go to work. This is a routine and very utilitarian. It is to get up, don't get distracted focus on work.
What I think:
I maybe wrong but I think she has created a pathway for orgasm over the years. It is a habit, it is a response she learnt.
If this is true, then I will have to work with her to achieve different pathways and different responses. I know this will take time... hey 14 years of masturbating in the same manner with the same purpose is a habit and response hard to rewire.
If this is true, I need to have an idea of the process, and the stages.
I have done this on the path to create new pathways:
1) I have requested that she masturbate in different position (of course she is reluctant.... but I will persist)
2) I have done mutual masturbation so that she can feel another hand, and another rhythm. I am glad to report that this is working, she can get multiple orgasm with my hand.
If reconditioning is the key to creating new pathways, how can this be done perhaps more systematically and in stages.
Here is my own issue
I often can only achieve orgasm after the woman achieve hers. It is a conditioning too, I like mutual orgasm and often work towards it. Most of the time in a new relationship, I don't climax until I can make my partner climax.
This situation creates a tension. She too like to have me climax. Hey she loves me as much as I do her... so no surprise here. She feels guilty if I don't, that is why we are doing mutual masturbation when penetrative sex does not get us to climax, or when she gets sore (she can't feel with lube, so it has to be her own bodily fluids and my sliva.)
I hope this gives you a clearer picture. And I hope it helps you formulate something to help me.
Hey, this is a very challenging problem for me. It will teach me more patience than I have ever exercised!!! But I still enjoy her companionship, her wit, her smarts, her sexiness, and her love.
It is only this department that needs greater expansion so to speak..
Thanks Bill for listening.
Hope to get some ideas on making things better.