Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It was a very admirable thing you did
helping your girlfriend out of an abusive relationship and assisting her in putting her life back together. Then to find yourselves in love had to be a wonderful surprise. The fact that she chose to move away from her bad memories and start a new life is a healthy way to handle what happened to her. But not being able to follow her has to be very difficult on you. It is obvious you love her. Having that distance between you would be very painful.
At this point, it sounds like you both have explored all the possible options for living in the same area. But for now, neither of you feels it is possible to give up what you have built individually in order to be together. And that is ok. The last thing you want to do is force yourselves to give up what you have built. You may end up resenting it and it could hurt your relationship.
Although it may be painful, you may want to keep trying your relationship as it is and wait it out. Sometimes changes occur in life that are unexpected so you may be able to eventually be together in the same place. Talking to each other as often as possible and spending vacations and holidays with each other can help you bond and make up for the time you can't see each other normally. Many couples who are together spend a lot of time apart due to traveling for work or other obligations so what you are dealing with is not so out of the ordinary. If you can find a way to make it work, then all the better.
However, if you both feel that having a relationship long distance is too much or that it is holding you back, it may be time to agree to just be friends and let each other move on. That doesn't mean you can't stay in touch or even see each other as often as possible, but by letting go you take the strain of being together off each other and let your relationship bloom in other ways. And your feelings for each other can still be there, you just are not forcing it to happen.
Either way you choose, you still always have the option to change things. You obviously both love each other and feel a strong and unique connection so you will probably always have that bond. And many people make friendships and relationships work over many miles for years at a time. With Facebook, Skype and other easier means to communicate, being far away in miles doesn't always mean giving up being close.
I hope this has helped you,