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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5576
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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ive been depressed for 5 years now since breaking up with the

Customer Question

ive been depressed for 5 years now since breaking up with the love of my life. i cant find any happiness in anything or anybody and i just cant seem to forget her. there are other things im depressed about but i think this relationship is the main issue. do you have any idea whats wrong with me?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like what is wrong could be one of two things. Either you are experiencing complicated grief over the loss of your relationship or the ending of your relationship brought on other issues, possibly from your past.

It does take a while to overcome feelings about the ending of a relationship. Even a few years later, thinking of that relationship can bring up strong feelings. However, if you are still feeling as strongly about the relationship as you did before, then it sounds like the ending of the relationship may have trigger other unresolved feelings for you. It could be something from your past or issues with how you feel about yourself. Resolving any past issues can help you move on from the break up as well.

Another possibility is that you are stuck in one of the stages of grief and are unable to get out. It can happen even if you want to feel better. People can often go through a few stages of grief only to find that once they reach the next stage, they never move on.

To help yourself, therapy is a great option. It can help you discover what is holding you back and how to work through it so you can feel better and move on with your life.

You also may want to try learning more about relationships and the grief that comes when one ends. Here are some resources to help you:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott

Extreme Breakup Recovery by Jeanette Castelli

By learning more about break ups, how they affect you and ways to move on, you can help yourself to feel better and let go of your past.

You can also learn more about depression. Here are some resources to help:

http://depression.supportgroups.com/

http://www.nami.org/

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

Most of all, consider talking to someone. You need to find out the root cause of what you feel and work it through so you can move on. Staying depressed will only keep you from enjoying your life and being open to a new relationship, one that can make you feel happy again.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate





May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5576
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much for the positive rating and very generous bonus. I really appreciate it!

My best to you,
Kate

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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.