my husband is a successful chef/restaurant owner, and after finishing BFA i was forced/ asked by him and a situation (hired a new manager who offered her service after witnessing our business crumble apart under poor management , she needed some minor training and help in the office) to be there. She took this business very seriously.
the new manager was overly friendly for over a year, joking, leaving great cards on the desc with little questions. i looked forward to go to work feeling funny that perhaps it was artificial, but who doesn't like attention? both of us are 45, so we joked about life, etc., we were exchanging books, films, gifts. she was working hard, i tried to back her up on her days off. one day she fell ill with some horrible unknown thing and for 4 weeks she was nearly dead.
finally she came back, still on high doses of steroids, overweight, poor thing. she worked harder than ever, fired, re-hired, trained, re-trained. my husband was now at work all the time, cooking, talking on the phone, and being a great annoyance to our manager: she started joking about sedating him, etc.
the cards had stopped: now i was told how to talk to servers, cooks, chefs. i was gently asked not to be bothered with answering the phone.
meanwhile we had opened a second establishment down the street and i was under financial stress
and all that comes with a new business. i was seeking a word of wisdom from her, she shut down. one day i was rude back to her. she stopped talking to me and said to my partner that i was ill and i needed a doctor ( she knew i was on celexa).
i stopped going there, stopped helping. i felt low: ran, stopped taking those pills, went for acupuncture. felt that my husband had betraied me by passing on to me wards Of "her wisdom".
two months passed, and we've met to go through all the paper work... she was short with me. i kept out of her way, found another job.
last week she stormed out of the restaurant blaming my husband for a bad kitchen service the day before. he called her back a week later to come back, train a new manager, and leave on a good term.
she was surprised, and agreed, but attacked him once again, saying how poor he is and how bad our relationship is and that she is very sad
that this business will desolve because of our marriage difficulties, and because of my poor mental state.
it hurt me once again, and i do not believe that someone can be so powerful over another's life or thinking, and i don't understand how the business and our marriage/ work and personal became as a single subject to her. i am disturbed by the fact that she is concerned so much of us. please help to clear my vision.