I am so sorry that the kids at school teased her...while it is wonderful that her teacher helped her through this...I would want to go a step further an make sure that the kids who did
the teasing were talked to ... along with their parents. That may sound harsh to you...but the thing is that bullying
in schools has reached epidemic proportions and early intervention is needed. Your daughter needs to know that school is a safe place for her...and writing a note to you in her own blood surely showed you how unsafe, hurt, and disraught she was by this entire situation!
I am glad that she hangs out with the girls and boys that are her height...that certainly does show that she can - and does -make friends. In time...those short girls may grow taller..and certainly the boys will too. Still...the school ought to have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying and their ought to be a strong message of acceptance for differences throughout the school. That message needs to come from the administration down through all the staff.
You acknowledge that you are shy too. So...what have you done to break out of your shell? Does your daughter understand that you are shy too? This might be the perfect thing for the two of you to discuss...how you have handled it, how she has handled it, what more you wish to do, and the two of you can strategize together on how to be more friendly and less shy. Rather than seeing this as a negative...perhaps you two can have fun talking about it and coming up with silly scenarios on how best to handle some of the akward situations you find yourselves in. I encourage you to turn this from a negative to a positive! As you know...the world cannot be strictly all outgoing people, nor strictly quiet people. We need a mix.
When she says she is bored at school...what do you make of that? Do you see her as a hard-working student? Does she eagerly soak up new material? Is she an avid reader...and likes intellectual challenge?
If you answer yes to these questions...then I would encourage you to consider talking to her teachers about more advanced material. Often, very bright children are terribly bored with classes because they learn the material so quickly and then are left to wait for the other children to catch up. If you think this describes her situation...then the remedy is that she gets special work that is more advanced, works at times with a higher grade level, or even advances a grade. Please consider this and let me know how you feel.
Every family member has a role in the family dynamics. The middle child is often the one who keeps the family together...sort of like a bridge between the older and the younger. That she plays well with her younger sibling (and is helpful with the K-garden kids) makes sense to me. And..if her older sibling is away much...then there could be some real pain there around not having the type of bond she would prefer. Tell me what you think of this.
I know I have given you several things to think about. I just want to stimulate your thinking as to some possibilities of what is happening to this precious child!