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Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I just divorced couple months ago, while I was in seperation,

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I just divorced couple months ago, while I was in seperation, I met a man online. He was fun and intelligent, I felt excited talking with him.But our conversation are full of teasing and flirting lately, I got confused about it and I am confused about myself too.I think I like him in some ways, but I doubt myself whether what I feel about him is real or I am just using him to fill in the hole in my heart. So I sent him an email days ago about my confusion and we are not talking any more. But I feel so bad not talking and seeing him online any more. I am confused that do I really like him if I feel so bad about not seeing him? Or I am just feeling lonely at heart which makes me need to grap some one for my loniness?
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I think it's important to consider that the answer could be a combination of both of your possible explanations, and perhaps that is why it is so confusing. It is possible that your loneliness made you more inclined grasp out for someone to fill that void, but it is also possible that once you met this man you actually did start to like and appreciate him on some levels.

Overall it sounds like you did your best to be honest with him about how you are feeling emotionally, and is certainly respectable. If you are confused or don't know exactly how you feel about him, that may be a sign in itself that this wasn't quite the right man for you. Even if you were to decide firmly that this wasn't the right man for you, it is still possible for that same loneliness to also be the reason why you feel so bad about not seeing him, especially if he is a nice guy to spend time with.

In these types of situations it is most important to listen to your instincts. Most likely you would know if this was a perfect match for you, and it would be very clear how you feel. He may be a great guy, but if it is hard to distinguish how you feel about him romantically, it is probably safe to say that at least part of this is due to loneliness as well. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan
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