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I would like to help you with your question.
It seems to me that you have many positives in your life...good grades, money to buy a house, a future as a nurse, a supportive family, and a boyfriend. Can you tell me more about why you feel terrible about yourself?
Anger is often about expectations that are not met or about hurt feelings. Could this be true?
Birth control can be a contributing factor to depression depending on the type of pills you are taking. And if you are taking an over the counter diet pill...that may be an issue as well.
Please give me a little more information about what you are feeling...whether the negativity you feel towards yourself is about expectations or wounds....
I see you are offline...when you come online I will be notified.
I got logged off. It seems to be working now..
Any ideas on why you are so down on yourself?
As a college student...stress is part of your every day...right? I'm not sure why your bf suggested tech school...
I think that it has to do with my expectations for myself and wounds from the past. I have always been somewhat of a perfectionist. I grew up doing Ballet and playing the piano. Both of my instructors were very strict with me. I did well but I think this sort of began a constant "i'm not doing this right" thing...I'm not sure exactly
That makes sense to me.
My boyfriend suggested that because he feels like I take my stress out on him too often. Which is most likely true.
The model that you formed about life was...that I am never good enough...I have to try harder...be better..and need to always be chasing some dream.
Yes. And this makes me mad at myself because I feel like I have no reason to feel that way because I have had a very good support system from early on in my life. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me, that I'm being uncontrollably selfish.
And sure...that likely is true...he's the easy target because he is the closest to you and you likely feel he is the safest person to be angry with.
NO...nothing is wrong with you! It's about the map that you have used to guide our life. Think about it this way...this map got formed when you were younger, when you followed your teachers to the letter, when they had all this power over you. Now...as an adult...you can see that you have other choices...that you can decide your own future...and that you are mature enough to decide what is best for you.
So it is a matter of shifting your thinking....of accepting that in the past you were a child that followed the rules...and that now..as an adult..you can make other choices.
So...there is no need to be angry at yourself. What you can do now is to make your own map!!!
How does that sound?
It sounds correct to me in every way. I just feel like I can't gain full control of myself anymore. A lot of people have told me "you're just becoming an adult" which is probably true. But I have classmates that are juggling way more than I am, and with no support system and they continue to be so positive. I used to be that sort of positive person who was thankful. And now I'm just constantly negative. My mom calls me all of the time to wonder if I'm eating and how I'm doing with school. And on days when I have plenty of time to get something done, I end up just taking a nap. I'm SO tired for no reason. I don't know how to change my thinking...
Becoming an adult is tough work...really. I can understand why you compare yourself to other classmates...but please don't do this as it's just not helpful.Everyone's life is complicated...and it's always easy to see someone else as having it tougher than you...but your challenges are your challenges.
Yeah i just feel like I should be farther than I am
Maybe the truth is that you are bit burned out right now. It's February...you have 3 more months of schooling before summer break. Depending on where you live, the weather could be bleak..the sun hardly shining.
Is this your senior year?
Or do you have another year of schooling ahead of you?
I had to "learn" how to go to college. I failed my fair share of classes and then I decided to buckle down. I'm doing well now...I have one more year before I'm able to transfer to a nursing program. I should begin to start applying in fall...
Join the club about learning how to go to college! Most kids are just not prepared for the academic realities of college....
The good news here is that you did buckle down! And that you have a decent GPA. And even more importantly...that you have a goal!
The thing about trying to measure yourself against others...is that it just isn't fair.
You are where you are. Sure you could be further along. But you could also be further behind.
So accept that this is where you are. And that you have many good things in your life.
Would you say that you feel depressed? Or is more feeling burned out and tired?
Has this "tired" feeling been going on long? How much does it worry you? Worry you enough to be seen at the counseling center for an evaluation?
I can't really tell one from the other to be honest
Yeah I have considered going to a counseling center. It's just awkward because everyone around me thinks that I don't need it.