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I need help! I just got married, I've been with the same person for 7 years. About 6 month's ago I caught him looking in the bathroom at my roomate while she was taking shower. I thought it was disgusting but all my guys firends told me guys do stupid things, he said he was sorry it was wrong and he would never do it again. Then this Sunday at 4:45 in the morning my sister was sleeping on a mattress next to us and while she was asleep, he put his hands on her butt and she woke up and freaked out. He says he has no idea why he did it and I don't know what to do! He's never done wnything like this before. My sister has stayed the night plenty of times and he's never touched her. Those are two things that have happened within the past 6 months. My sister is hurt she's 23. I'm hurt and he's been breaking down and says he took it too far. Please help me!
Thanks for your question.
I feel like I want to work it out, but at the same time I'm afraid I don't know if I am doing something wrong trying to get him help. I'm afraid that it will hurt my sister if I stay with him but I feel like there's something wrong with him. I want to help him because I love him for him but the things he's doing are weird and I don't know how to react. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I love my sister so much and I don't want to hurt her. They were very close. I'm afraid that there is something mentally wrong with him and I can't pin point it. I don't want to feel like I don't know him bc and I feel like I want to work it out but my sister feels violated. I'm afraid of my whole family knowing what happened. My parents love him like a son. Do you feel like there is a way he can fix it if he's willing? Are there mental illnesses for when someone does these sorts of things?
In the first email I wrote you he did make excuses at first saying there was a cricket on her he was trying to remove but then confessed that there wasn't a cricket at all! You said it would be more troubling in the sense that he lied to me or made up excuses. Is it normal for guys to do things like this? We have had relatioship issues. I was pregnant at 19 and was too sick to have a baby. I was rushed to the emergency room 3 times. It was on accident and ever since then I haven't been very sexual. He complains about it all the time. I don't know if I could have triggered this but i don't want to blame myself because I feel people go through rough situations all the time and don't do what he did.
I agree with you! I've always looked at people in my current situation and thought why would anyone stay with someone who does those sorts of things. Now I'm the one in their shoes questioning myself. I don't want to be the girl who married the monster. I don't think he's quite a monster yet but I'm scared that if he's doing these things what other things could he do? He told me in the beginning of our relationship that sex wasn't an issue with him, all he needed was me. We were friends in highschool and dated after because I was in another relationship at the time. Our lease on our house was up in March and we are suppose to move in with my parents because they have a 5 bedroom house and wanted us to save money so we could buy! My sister just broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years so she was staying with us and we all had plans to move into our parents house to save money. She wants to travel and we want to buy a home. Now I have no idea what i'm going to do!
Thank You for all your help! I will take a few days to think about it. This is not going to be easy at all! I am stressed, tired, and I haven't been able to eat all day. I greatly appreciate you getting back to me so quickly I hope my life can eventually fall back into place. This has definitely been a huge set back. You did help me answer a lot of questions I had. Thank You again
I will, Thank You!