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Hello. I'm concerned about my college roommate. She is usually either out of the room, sleeping at weird times, or playing her ukelele. I'm concerned about her mental health. She won't share anything with me, and she won't go to free, on-campus counseling. Sleeping a lot is either a sign of depression or obesity. It isn't the latter because she isn't overweight. I am trying the best that I can to be a supportive roommate. She is really close to a mutual friend who lives across the hall, and I've already told that friend what is going on. What else can I do?
I would like to help you with your question.
Sleeping a lot can be due to numerous things. She may be feeling ill, she may be bored, she may require more sleep than others, maybe she is unmotivated, or you may be right that she is depressed. Let's look at this a little closer...
Has her behavior changed recently? Was she once more active, more involved with school, slept less? Are her classes more stressful this semester? Is she drinking or using chemicals?
I think it was a great decision to talk to her friend across the hall...getting another set of "eyes" on the situation is important.
I await your response.
Her behavior hasn't changed recently. She's been this way since the beginning of the semester. She isn't drinking or on drugs.
She could be bored and/or unmotivated. She said that her grades aren't the best.
So she could be feeling rather down because of her grades and then instead of trying to get support and help to improve the grades she is feeling down on herself and negative. College is meant to be challenging and often we don't have the best coping skills. So...she just might not know what to do to pull up her grades and is feeling "paralyzed" by the stress.
It seems to me that you want to be helpful. So maybe you could ask her to study together or get the friend across the hall to come up with a study plan with you.
Our self-esteem does take a hit when our grades aren't where we want them to be...or when we think we might be disappointing our parents, our professors, and so forth. Perhaps this is where she is...feeling bad about herself and not knowing what to do about it.
You were right in suggesting that she be seen at the counseling center on campus. Perhaps the friend across the hall could talk to her about this.
Thank you for your help. I like those ideas.
Great! You really do seem like a caring person and need to be commended for caring about your roommate! Let's hope she is just in a slump and that she will allow you and her other friend to help here through this rough patch in life!