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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I have been having a hard time coping with my break up. It

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I have been having a hard time coping with my break up. It was two months ago, it is true though that i had a major set back in my recovery because he has contacted me again, and told me he loves me. It was not an abusive relationship but he just couldn't trust me, we were together for a year and a half. Before him i had a difficult break up, and it was painful but i managed to get over it with time, and i rediscovered myself and my self steem, when we got involved i was really happy and our love flourished beautifully. But he had really long hours at work, and i was really understanding of his schedule, so i would meet friends and engage in activities all the time while he had to work and he didn't like that. So i ended it, for i was living my life but was always faithful and loyal. i am so lost and sad, my feelings for him are so intense. it almost feels like i will never be over this love. my question is, i met someone really nice, and he seems to be liking me a lot, when i accepted going on a date with him i was more at peace, then the ex contacted me and i went spiriling down in a roller coaster of emotions. I'm afraid to hurt this new guy, he seems very sensitive, should i go on and just take slow with him or end and wait until i have my feelings more figured it out to date again?
Thanks for your question.

It sounds like you have recovered from a difficult break up in the past, and I suspect you will get to that point again after this break up too. However even if you are comfortable with the decision to break up, it's understandable that him telling you that he loves you would bring up a lot of emotions. Overall though, as long as you are comfortable dating and taking it slow, it doesn't seem like any harm can come from seeing this new guy again. I completely respect your concern for his feelings, and if there comes a point where you have to be honest with him about where you are emotionally, that's ok. Generally the concern at this point would be jumping into something serious too quickly, but as long as you are comfortable taking it slow and making sure that you recover fully before getting involved too seriously, it doesn't seem like you are doing anything inappropriate.

I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.

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