Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like there could be a couple of things going on here for you. One, you suffered through two miscarriages. That alone would cause you to experience grief and mourning over your losses. It can take a long time to work through grief. Everyone processes grief differently.
Two, you may be experiencing depression. Often depression occurs when we experience extreme life changes such as not being able to have any more children, struggling with raising children and most of all feeling alone. Our lives feel overwhelming enough but without any support, we can feel lost and hopeless.
The first step to feeling better is to seek help. You have already recognized that you feel down and that you need someone to talk with so you have already overcome the biggest obstacle to getting better. Now you need to seek the right kind of help so you can recover quickly.
Finding a good therapist is a great start. You can find a good therapist in many ways. But the key to which therapist you choose is finding one that fits your needs. For example, a therapist that works out for one person may not be what you are looking for. A therapist needs to not only be a good personality fit, but also provide the type of therapy you are seeking. So talking to a few therapists over the phone or in person can help you screen which one provides what you need.
Here are ways to increase the chances you find someone that is best suited to help you:
Ask your doctor. Doctors often come across people who are depressed or anxious. Since they can only offer medication to help, they usually refer out for therapy. And patients sometimes provide feedback so a doctor may be familiar with good therapists in their area.
Screen therapists on line. Here is a site that helps:
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. It also helps to be familiar with the credentials of therapists. Anyone who is a Master's level and above (PhD) is required.
Experience also is needed, especially in the area you are concerned about such as depression or anxiety
. Here is a list of therapist's credentials:
Also, learn more about depression and grief. Here are some resources to help:
I hope this has helped you,