Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
What medication works for you depends very much on your personal health history, current medical status and the specific symptoms you are experiencing. Also, what you hope the medication will help you with is important as well. Some people take medications to try to eliminate all their symptoms and others take medication just to take the edge off their symptoms so they can cope better. Here is a guide to anxiety medications to help you determine what may work for you:
You may also need to see a mental health professional to determine what your diagnosis is and to decide a course of treatment, such as therapy. From your question it sounds like you have been through many traumas. The loss of a child, life and death job decisions and past sexual abuse. All of these occurrences can cause you to experience symptoms of PTSD, and you may be experiencing anxiety as part of your symptoms.
You could also have anxiety disorder as well as grief. It is important that you know what you are dealing with before considering treatment. If you feel that you need relief before you see a mental health professional, you may want to consider a medication like Ativan or Xanax to help you reduce your symptoms and make them more manageable so you can work.
You can also work on your anxiety at home. Self help not only helps you learn more about anxiety, but it can help you find the tools you need to feel better. Here are some resources to help you: On line links:
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne
When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life by David D. Burns
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by William J. Knaus EdD and Jon Carlson PsyD EdD
Coping with Anxiety: 10 Simple Ways to Relieve Anxiety, Fear & Worry by Edmund J. Bourne and Lorna Garano
I hope this has helped you,