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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5581
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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my daughter continously makes poor choices. She is twenty six

Resolved Question:

my daughter continously makes poor choices. She is twenty six years old, I am raising her first child and now she has another. My daughter is always blameing me for things gone wrong in her life and cursing at me, says horrible mean things and is very difficult and lies about everything to make people think she is not the one to blame. Is she just a mean spirit or could she be bi-polar?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

Bipolar is characterized by extreme highs and lows of mood. A person with Bipolar will experience either an extreme high where they may spend money without regard to how much they have, talk quickly, sleep very little, eat very little and/or have sex with various partners without regard to safety. Bipolar is also characterized by extreme lows where the person struggles to get out bed, eat and function as they normally would. Here is a link that describes Bipolar:

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/

The behavior you describe regarding your daughter does not sound like Bipolar but only a thorough evaluation by a mental health professional will tell for sure. If your daughter is willing to see her doctor, he or she can refer her to a therapist or psychiatrist for an evaluation.

If your daughter is angry all the time and blaming you, it could be that she is unable to accept responsibility for her own behavior. This can indicate a personality disorder or just immature behavior. Either way, you are having to deal with how she acts which can be stressful.

If your daughter tries to blame you or otherwise talks with you in a mean way, you can respond in such a way that it protects you and lets her know that you will not accept how she treats you. For example, if she starts yelling at you, tell her that although you want to hear what she has to say, you do not appreciate how she is saying it. Then say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk out of the room. If she keeps trying to yell at you, repeat yourself until she stops. Leave the house if need be. By shutting her down and not responding emotionally to her behavior, she may learn that she has to accept responsibility and start to treat you better.

It may also help for you to go to therapy with her so you both can work on a better way to communicate. Often parents and children get into patterns of communication that are hard to break, even if you want to break them. By learning new ways to communicate, you can improve your relationship.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5581
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.