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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5458
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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my inlaws are living with me and both have serious medicals

Resolved Question:

my inlaws are living with me and both have serious medicals issues. My husband is always out of town a little support. I also have MY brother living with us and I drink ALOT
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your situation.

It sounds like you are under a lot of stress. What did you want to ask about your situation?

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I quit my job to be an at home caregiver for my husbands parents. His mother is terminal (bone cancer) and his father has heart and now possible cancer issues. My husband has put his work as priority as he says he is providing for the family. My brother lives with us on my request as I have another brother who a 39 dies massive heart attack and alone I did not want that for my other brother however he is much more a taker and does not ever want to leave here except "in my words in a box"


Perhaps this is not something that can be answered in an on line session , maybe you can direct me to someone locally that I can use my health insurance to help

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

You are under a lot of pressure caring for others. Just taking care of one person alone would be a lot, but it sounds like you are caring for many. Plus you have suffered a lot of loss with your brother's passing and having to quit your job to stay home. Jobs can be stressful too but they often serve to boost our self esteem and provide a way for us to feel more in control of our lives. By losing this in your life, it can make things seem even more difficult.

You also do not seem to have many supports. Your husband focusing on his job is important, but it does not help you. You have more than a full time job with no breaks and no pay. That is much harder than what your husband does. If at all possible, he should be helping you as much as he can by providing breaks and support.

Being a caregiver, you may be experiencing burnout even if you feel you do not have any symptoms. Caretaker burnout can include feeling tired, experiencing every day as the same, feeling that everything seems dull and feeling you have nothing left to give. You may be anxious, depressed or angry. Or you may also be so worn out that you don't feel anything at all. You have been giving so much that you have nothing left to give.

It is important that you get a chance to focus on yourself once in a while. Seeing a therapist can help. You need to have someone to care for you and by seeing a therapist, you get support as well as a chance to get feedback about your situation with someone who is objective and can help provide you with resources to help you. To find a therapist, ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can contact your insurance company for a list of therapists. You can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php.

Also, learn more about what you can do to help yourself cope with caregiver stress. Here are some resources to help you get started:

http://www.caregiverstress.com/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/caregiver-stress/MY01231

http://stress.about.com/od/copingwithcrisis/a/caregiver080507.htm

The more you can find support through groups and information, the more you can improve your situation.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5458
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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