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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1165
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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My 19 yr old grandson is argumentative, verbally abusive to

Resolved Question:

My 19 yr old grandson is argumentative, verbally abusive to his parents, lies, beligerent, and is distrustful of others. He is drinking alcohol often and is not working or going to school. I think he needs help but don't know how to get it for him. What do I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

This certainly is a tough situation at 19 year old he is considered "emancipated" in the eyes of the legal system. That doesn't mean you can't influence and help him...but it means that legally you can't do much.

Dr. L :

I agree that your grandson needs some help to make better decisions..and if he is using alcohol that needs to be dealt with swiftly.

Dr. L :

What kind of relationship do you have with him? You write that he is treating his parents badly...does he treat you well? Do you feel that you have the kind of relationship with him that he will talk to you...will act on your advice?

Dr. L :

Tell me more about the drinking...does he drink until he is drunk? does he pass out?

Dr. L :

I imagine that he is living at home. Do you think that the parents have set realistic goals for him?

Dr. L :

When did this change in behavior occur.

Dr. L :

The more you can tell me the better answer I can formulate.

Dr. L :

Thanks.

Customer:

He will call me before he calls his dad who has recently kicked him out of the house because of his drinking and behavior. Others have toldl us he drinks til he vomits and passes out and then more when he wakes up. He goes days without coming home. He doesn't mistreat me but talks bad about his dad (my son) and he says things to hurt both parents. His dad and mother are both deaf but have hearing aids and communicate very well and love him very much. They have tolerated his behavior for about 2 years trying to have a relationship with him. He has never physically hurt them but he gets so angry and yells at them when he doesn't get his way. He doesn't take responsiblity and blames others.

Dr. L :

Oh my this is really a sad situation.

Dr. L :

Where is your grandson living now? Have you considered having him come live with you for awhile...and setting very tight boundaries on acceptable/non-acceptable behavior?

Dr. L :

Your grandson's drinking is a serious problem. I hate to say that...but it is true. He needs a chemical dependency evaluation and help getting into a treatment facility. If he continues down this pathway there will be more and more consequences....some quite serious and harmful to him and to others. Please talk to his parents about this. And...because your grandson has a bond with you...you are in a position to help him see that he needs help.

Dr. L :

He likely knows that his behavior is out of hand...but he may not know what to do about it or to even how to begin to address his issues.

Dr. L :

I encourage you to check into chemical dependency treatment programs in your city. Talk to the staff about what is happening. Get some direction and advice from them on what steps to take next.

Dr. L :

Two years of this behavior is two years too long. I feel sad for his parents...

Dr. L :

I can understand why his dad kicked him out of the house. And there are times when that is necessary.

Dr. L :

LEt me know how you feel about my response.

Customer:

I can't get the Good Service smiley face to click. Thank you for your advice.

Dr. L :

Hello..

Dr. L :

I had the question locked so that I could make sure you were fully satisfied.

Dr. L :

I am glad I could help you.

Dr. L :

Please let me know if I can be of further service to you in the future.

Dr. L :

Good luck!

Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1165
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
Dr. L and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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