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Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3706
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
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My bother calls wanting me to listen to him, but has a very

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My bother calls wanting me to listen to him, but has a very short fuse and begins yelling. He becomes a runaway train, and I feel bullied and nothing more than his dumping ground. This has gone on for years. I have developed thicker skin and now end these "talks" when they become unhealthy and unproductive. How do you help someone that is yelling and just so full of angst they cant control themselves?

Bill :

Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

Bill :

I am sorry to hear about this.

Bill :

This is a form of emotional abuse and you are going to have to set clear and consistent limits with him for this to stop.

Bill :

This is a form of bullying behavior.

Bill :

My sense is that he does this because he knows he can get away with it and that is why you have to let him know in concrete terms that this has to stop or you will not be willing to speak with him.

Bill :

The following link will explain just how to do this. Use it as a guide in responding to your brother. It will help you and him.

Bill :

I see that you are typing

Customer:

I try to warn him when Im not going to continue, but he pushes on and I hang up, which only makes him madder. I want nothing more than to help him out, but he is 3000 miles away and we often dont even get to what is REALLY wrong. Yes, I try to help, human nature, but so hard to not comment. He sent me an article on listening with empathy from this site, yet seems to take no responsibility for why our conversations end.

Bill :

I think when you read the link I attached above you will have a good structure for how to address this matter which will work.

Customer:

I hadnt scrolled down far enough to read your entire msg - I will check the link, thank you.

Bill :

If you have further questions you can always ask- there is no additional cost.

Customer:

thank you.

Bill :

I wish you the very best and appreciate your Positive Rating so that I receive Credit for my time.

Bill :

You are most welcome

Bill :

Have a nice day.

Bill :

You will have a complete copy of this chat transcript with link in your email.

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