How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ryan LCSW Your Own Question

Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
16045978
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Ryan LCSW is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Ok, this is new to me. Let me give you the back ground OKMH0203100

Resolved Question:

Ok, this is new to me. Let me give you the back ground of my problem.

I am a retired U.S. Marine. I live in eastern Kentucky and own a refrigeration company. I met a young man who worked for me and would come over to my house with his friend and one of their fathrs to play Dungeons and Dragons with me. This young man had a very troubled childhood and I had lost my son years ago. I took an interest in helping this young man. Sort of giving him a positive figure in his life.

This young man joined the marine corps and did so in order to become something better than what his future held for him here in eastern kentucky. After his joining I would fly him home or drive down and get him so he could visit with his family, because most of the money he earned he would send home to them because it ws pretty bad there. I never complained nor do I care the cost.

In April of 2011 I was knocked off of a building I was working on and broke both of my ankles, my left leg in 17 places and my right heal was crushed. This young man would call me every day and keep my spirits up, he came home on leave and literally did not leave my home for 20 days, he did not go see friends family or his girlfriend. He stayed there at my house and helped me learn to walk again to fend for myself again.

After he went back to the Marines I would continue to fly him home and I would help him take care of his family problems. I went to visit him after I was able to get around using canes to walk. While there he had a complete break down, he realized that he did not want to be in the marines anymore and he wanted to go Awol. I told him not to do that thatthere were other ways to face this. I found out he qualified for a hardship discharge. It became very expensive and I paid for it all, It took a long time to get him the discharge but he did get it. He came hom in june of last year and moved into my home, he started working for me but now there are some serius problems. I need some help here.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your question.

It sounds like you have really gone out of your way to help each other throughout your lives, and I'm sorry to hear that there are some serious problems going on now. I've reviewed all of the background information that you sent me. Can you tell me what the problems are that you're having now and what help you need with them? Thanks,

Ryan
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

The problem is I feel like I am being pushed away. Like no matter what I try to do I am not able to get back the friendship we had. We both go to work each day, and it is a strugle for me to do this with my injuries, but as soon as we get home it is as if I am being pushed away. We were great friends and really close now it is as if I have to plead with him to do anything.


 


I told him he owes me nothing but respect for the things I have done, I mean I have bought him a car, I help him with all things. But there is never a thank you. He says things like having emotions is wrong, that he can't care anymore. I try to get him to do anything outside of work with me and he will say he is tired or he is not wanting to do anything but he will right after that leave with other people to go do whatever. If I say anything I am wrong if I do not say anything I am mad.


 


If I ask him or his brother to clean up the house I am mad, wash the dishes they dirty I am mad. No matter what I am doing I am mad.


 


They invite their friends over and ignore me as if I do not exist, but then the next day get upset with me because I did not hang out? But yet I am wrong if I do. I am not wanting to lose this friendship. I am tryingn everything I can to find a middle ground. I just do not know what to do anymore. Can you help me find what is going on here?

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
It sounds like you are being pushed away in some respects, so I can understand how you'd feel like that. You've obviously done a lot to help him throughout his life, and it says a lot about your character that you haven't asked for anything in return but to be treated respectfully.

The fact that he says that having emotions is wrong and that he can't care anymore makes me question whether something has changed that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you. His behavior and actions towards you have drastically changed, and you are only right to want to know what it is and how to repair your relationship.

It may help to point out some of these drastic changes in the way he acts towards you, and try to have this conversation about the why your relationship has changed, and what can be done about it. He is sending you mixed messages by ignoring you and then acting as if you should have been included, and if you are called mad whether you say anything or not, then he is not leaving you in a fair position. Unless something actually happened that would cause him to act like this, it seems like you are completely justified in asking some of these questions, especially considering what your relationship used to be like together. That would seem like the best place to start in terms of starting to figure this out and repair your relationship together. I definitely wish you the best with all of this and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Individual and Family Therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education