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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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What would be the best 50/50 placement OKMH202211

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What would be the best 50/50 placement for a 5 year old girl when the parents live about 1.5 hours away from each other?

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It is always best to minimize transitions. So the best 50/50 arrangement would be one week at one house and then, one week at the other. Of course, this means that the parent living farthest from the school has lots of traveling to do. But it would mean that the child only adjusts to change once weekly. Because a week is a long time, a midweek dinner with the other parent can be helpful.

I hope this helps.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Wouldn't that be too much for a child to be sitting in a car? 5 days a week plus the transition trip? That is 18 hours in a week in the car. And unfair for one of the parents financially and quality in time spent. I have heard a lot of parents do 1 parents has during the school year and the other during the weekends and summer.

The car time can be a positive thing while child and parent talk, play games, listen to music or books can be made into a positive. It can be quality time. But if the finances are an issue then maybe what is ideal is not possible. Then.... you have no other choice than to do weekends and summers. This would be second best in my option because of the long separation in the summer from one parent and then, one parent never is able to spend leisure time with child (weekend and summer). But then, the plan must be practical for everyone. I was just answering your question about what would be best for the child (which is not always what is best for the parent).

The very best would be for parents to live closer to each other.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I understand, just was looking for better understanding. Thank you.

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