How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am 34 and my wife iis 34. I have went from 61" 255 to 215

Customer Question

I am 34 and my wife iis 34. I have went from 6'1" 255 to 215 in the last 4 mouths, and my wife has only let me have sex with her about 4 times in that time frame. I have been opening car doors, bringing home the radom and ocasional (without a reason ) set of Roses. She says she is to tieried for sex. She is a full time mom of 2 kids ages 2 and 4. , bu damm.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear Friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does she give any other reason than she is "too tired"?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That is not a credible reason.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She has lost interest in you, or is suffering from depression, or has some other problem that needs to be addressed.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You never did say why you lost all of that weight.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is a festering problem for both of you, one which you cannot ignore.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Suffering in silence won't work.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Getting angry and having disputes won't work either.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Both of those approaches will only make things worse.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You really need to get some professional help before your marriage starts to slip away.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Obviously you are concerned and have made a preliminary outreach by contact JustAnswer.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I strongly urge you to find either a marriage and family counselor or a certified sex therapist, who is usually a mental health therapist with additional training and certification.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

For the former, go to www.psychologytoday.com, enter state and city, and search, narrowing it down to family problems or sex therapists.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

For sex therapists (my recommendation) go to:

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

AASECT - Member Directory

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

click on your state and search for someone nearby.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

On both sites you should try to find someone who seems experienced and empathetic.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The people at AASECT will be consistently of a high caliber. The ones at psychologytoday may not be well versed in dealing with sexual problems, but some can be masterful therapists.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Read carefully.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Once again, I urge you to talk to your wife about getting professional help, as you will suffer if you do not.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Let me recommend one book for you as well:

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC