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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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Hello, I am a 25-year old girl, living with my partner,

Customer Question

Hello,

I am a 25-year old girl, living with my partner, who is 32. We've been together for 7 years and are happy to enjoy a very loving and trusting relationship.

The issues is that he's been having problems for quite a long time now with his sexual desire, but we haven't sought help yet. We have no issues in our relationship and everything is better that we can wish for, apart from sex.

I understand there might be a number of factors due to which he is not feeling like doing it, but can you recommend something we can start from? Would you recommend pills, counselling or any special therapy? What tests can he make to check that's going on, as we both think the problem could be physical as well as psychological.

Could you please give us a starting point and advice.

Thank you in advance.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 1 year ago.
What does he think is the cause of the problem? Are there times when it is better or worse?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hello,


 


Thank you for your reply. I have listed below a few points which might be important for you to be able to understand the situation:


 


- there have been periods when things were fine, but we have never really had a normal sexual life


- my partner is a stutterer since he was 10; this has never been a major problem as far as his self-esteem is concerned, but might be connected


- he is generally very sensitive and intelligent


- we have been talking about the problem and he is assuring me it's nothing to do with me


- he has told me that he often thinks about sex and is sometimes in the mood when at work or just alone, but when we are together just can't get in the mood


- there is lot's of touching and kissing between us, we are constantly cuddling and generally feel very strong tenderness towards each other


- I realize the problem might be very much due to stress. We have our own company and things are often very tough. We also suffer a lot from not having enough social life, coming from a different culture from the one people live in in London (we are Bulgarian)


- He is a quite heavy smoker (about 30-40 a day)


 


Hope that's shedding some light and look forward to any suggestions.


 


Thank you in advance,


 


Radilina

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 1 year ago.
I think for starters, having a physical exam to rule out any biological factors is a must. Checking for things such as hypothyroid and blood pressure. Secondly, reducing the stress and increasing the social outlets, hobbies, and fun activities needs to happen. Not doing so can cause depression which relates to low sex drive. Keep communication open about the issue, but it doesn't need to be talked about everyday, as to avoid putting him under pressure. Third, have physical contact and foreplay with no intent on having sex. This too will take the pressure off to perform sexually. Finally, if all else fails, talk to a sex therapist who can recommend specific sexually techniques or medication.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you, can you recommend any good therapist we can see in London?
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry but I am in the united states.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

No problem, thank you for your advice anyway.

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 1 year ago.
you are welcome

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