Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help you.
The kind of lying that you are doing is not really the manipulative type that is used by a con-artist, but rather the type of lying that comes from fear.
I suspect that you used to get abused or bullied or punished a great deal when you were young. Because of this you internally set up a self-defense mechanism to protect you from punishment.
This is how the lying started.
Whenever you are triggered by the fear of being punished for something that you did
, REAL OR IMAGINED, you automatically respond to by using the compulsive response of lying as a means of stopping the obsessive thought that you will be punished or otherwise criticized.
This is obsessive compulsive behavior or OCD.
This can be cured with therapy. Your husband should understand that this is an automatic defense response that you learned long ago and that you can now UNLEARN.
Seeing a therapist that deals with OCD or impulse control would be an excellent way to begin to change.
You can start out by getting this book, which will help you a great deal:
You can overcome this and leave this old behavior behind. However, you need to apply yourself and find some help.
I can give you one more book that will be helpful if you can apply the learning in this workbook.
I believe that this will be a good start for you, and I wish you great success.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC