How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

i need help, im 18 years old and i have a compulsive lying

Customer Question

i need help, im 18 years old and i have a compulsive lying problem. i need help. ive  lie to my husband, ive hurt him and i didnt mean to. when im under pressure i freak out and i lie and its about stupid things. Things my husband wouldnt even get mad about as long as i would tell the truth.  i thought i was doing good everything seemed just fine til i lie to him last night. i was honest to him for a couple if weeks but then i lied to him again. and its making us fall apart, i need help to save us. please help me

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help. First i applaud you for reaching out for help to make changes for yourself. That's a huge first step! There are a number of things we could talk about here, but the first thing that comes to my mind is that likely you learned early on in your life that lying was a sort of self preservation technique that worked and now you keep using this even when you don't have to. Have you had problems lying to others as well in your life? Do you also have other behaviors such as stealing or hurting others physically by chance?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

 


i have lied to others but mosty its been my husband. i have hurt people like my husband but its been emotionally not physically. i thought lieing would get my out of things. but now that ive gotten older and ive hurt my husband about lieing i no that it wrong. i thought if i lied to him everything would just be easy but its just gotten harder.

Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

My name is XXXXXXX XXX I’m the moderator for this topic. I am sorry, but It seems that the professional has left this conversation. This happens occasionally, and it's usually because the professional thinks that someone else might be a better match for your question. But don’t worry….. If you are still waiting for an answer, I will try to find a new professional to assist you! Please keep in mind that sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected. All of our Professionals come on at varying times, so sometimes it’s a bit difficult to predict. Either way....If you would prefer not to wait, please feel free to let me know, and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you.

Camille

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.


Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you.

The kind of lying that you are doing is not really the manipulative type that is used by a con-artist, but rather the type of lying that comes from fear.

I suspect that you used to get abused or bullied or punished a great deal when you were young. Because of this you internally set up a self-defense mechanism to protect you from punishment.

This is how the lying started.

Whenever you are triggered by the fear of being punished for something that you did, REAL OR IMAGINED, you automatically respond to by using the compulsive response of lying as a means of stopping the obsessive thought that you will be punished or otherwise criticized.

This is obsessive compulsive behavior or OCD.

This can be cured with therapy. Your husband should understand that this is an automatic defense response that you learned long ago and that you can now UNLEARN.

Seeing a therapist that deals with OCD or impulse control would be an excellent way to begin to change.

You can start out by getting this book, which will help you a great deal:


Stop Me Because I Can't Stop Myself : Taking Control of Impulsive Behavior by Jon Grant, S.W. Kim and Gregory Fricchione


You can overcome this and leave this old behavior behind. However, you need to apply yourself and find some help.

I can give you one more book that will be helpful if you can apply the learning in this workbook.


Free from OCD: A Workbook for Teens with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Instant Help Book for Teens) by Timothy Sisemore PhD



I believe that this will be a good start for you, and I wish you great success.


Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions