Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
I am sorry to hear about this common issue that many men and couples deal with.
In reading what you have written and relying on 35 years of experience working with couples-it sounds as though you are experiencing what is clinically referred to as Sexual Performance Anxiety.
"Millions of men, regardless of age, relationship or orientation suffer from sexual performance anxiety. This condition in sexual situations occurs when a man anticipates some form of problem occurring during the sexual act. As a result of this anticipation, the man becomes anxious or panicked while attempting to be sexually active. This translates into problems with erections, premature and delayed ejaculation or a lack of desire to have sex."
As you will see in the following link:
The botXXXXX XXXXXne here is that anxiety or stress related to the desired outcome of obtaining an orgasm and satisfying your partner gets in the way and thus the underlying anxiety prevents you from achieving orgasm.
Self help tips for overcoming this problem are listed in the following links:
If you use relaxation techniques and follow the suggestion in the above links you should be able to resolve the problem without professional help.
If not, you can get help with this from counselors trained in sex therapy.
If you have further questions of me, feel free to ask- I am happy to help.
Otherwise, I wish you the very best.
Kindest regards, Bill
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