How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5576
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
54658078
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a 23yr old daughter living in NYC who is very depressed.

Customer Question

I have a 23yr old daughter living in NYC who is very depressed. She graduated from GWU with a degree in International Affairs. Since her graduation she has been unable to get a job, unable to make friends in the city, and has attached herself to an abusive boy friend from college. She calls very frequently and is extremely depressed. She says things like, "I'm just not good at life." Help, PLEASE. What should I be doing? She sees a Pharmicacologist (not exactly sure what this Dr. is)....who has put her on Xanax and an anti depression drug. These drugs do not seem to be working....she is now totally addicted to Xanax. Also, she is not sleeping. HELP
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It can be very difficult when you have a child who is experiencing these types of symptoms and she is far away, where you cannot be there for her. However, there are several positive points in your daughter's situation. One, she is being open and honest with you about her feelings. That right there is a good sign. Anytime an adult child is willing to share and tell you their deepest concerns, that means they feel a connection and know they can trust you. Two, your daughter is aware of her depression and seems to want to reach out for help. This is also a good sign. As long as she is still contacting you and she is aware that she wants help, there is a lot of hope that she can recover from depression.

Even though this is all good, helping your daughter with how she feels is a priority. I'm not clear what kind of doctor she is seeing, but she does need to talk to a psychiatrist and a therapist. Medications and therapy are the best ways to address her depression. And if her mediations are not working, she may be on the wrong medications for what type of depression she has. Your daughter needs to have an evaluation done to determine what kind of depression she has and the possible cause so the right medication is prescribed for her.

If your daughter is willing to get help, ask her to talk to her regular physician for a referral to a therapist and psychiatrist. Or she (or you) can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php. Just plug in her zip code and find a therapist near her, preferably one that specializes in depression.

Also, she may want to try self help. Resources and on line support can be invaluable. And she can have this support anytime she feels the need to talk to someone, day or night. Here are some resources to get her started:

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/
http://depression.supportgroups.com/
http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
In helping your daughter, it can be stressful because you are concerned and worried. It can help you to learn more about depression and how you can help your daughter. Here are some links for you:
www.nami.org
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/living_depressed_person.htm
It may also help to ask your daughter to contact you anytime she feels worse or just needs to talk. As long as she as that link, she knows she has a place to turn. And remind her that the stress she is under can be helped by breaks and down time. She is under a lot of pressure now so knowing that she has "permission" to take a break and that it is ok to fail sometimes may help lift her depression.
You may also want to suggest she talk to the therapist about her relationship. An abusive relationship is going to only hurt her more, and she needs to try to leave the relationship so she can recover. She may need support in order to break the relationship off. If you can, try to be as supportive as you are able to, visiting her if possible. She can also reach out to others in her area for support. Here are some resources to help:
http://www.opdv.state.ny.us/help/dvhotlines.html
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5576
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

should I try to get her to come home or is it better for her if she is at least trying on her own?

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Because of the abuse, it might be better for her at home. Also, if you feel her situation is getting worse, being at home can provide the support she needs to improve her situation. She seems to have very few ties to where she is now, so coming home might be more helpful to her for the short term. Plus it will help her get away from the abusive relationship she is in right now. With how she feels, she may not be able to reason out leaving the relationship but if she was with you and other family, you could watch out for her until she felt better and more able to help herself.

Kate

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
3899 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.