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Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I found out today that my hasband has a girlfriend what to

Customer Question

I found out today that my hasband has a girlfriend what to do
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your queston. I'm terribly sorry to hear about what you've discovered about your husband. I had a couple questions for you that will help me to better understand how I can help you out.

Does your husband know that you are aware of this?

Do you know how serious this relationship is with this girlfriend?

What do you feel like your best options are in terms of how to handle this?

A little more information would be very helpful. Thanks.

Ryan


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No he doesnt know that iam aware of that
I dont know but it has been for two years now i suspect
I am hurt but i want my marrige to work after all i am with this man thirty years now.
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX years I can certainly understand your desire to make this marriage work. A few more questions:
Are you considering confronting him?

Do you get the impression that he is still committed to the marriage?

What specific questions can I help you with?
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Individual and Family Therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Sorry that was meant to be an information request, not an answer to your question.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
This is my question what to do should i talk to him about it or should i make beleive nothing happened
I believe yes it looks he is commited to the marrige
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
In the begining i wanted to just tellhim and scream against him but i want to do what is right hor me and my two children
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.

Most likely even if you were to make believe that nothing happened, this will start to cause a lot of stress and tension on you and your relationship because you still know about it. This is a pretty big betrayal of your trust, so even if everything appears fine on the outside, this is a problem that will continue to undermine the foundation of your marriage until it is addressed. It may not be easy to confront him, but it probably is necessary in order to provoke the changes that will keep you marriage strong and lasting.


Knowing that he is committed to your marriage, that does significantly increase the odds that you will both be able to make it through this. I would highly recommend marriage counseling which will help you both to repair the damage that this has caused, as well as address any problems that may have led to this point. Even if you don't go to counseling, just being on the same page and working on this problem together can be a great start.


You certainly don't have to confront him today. It may be easier for you to do that if you've had a few days to consider what you want to say, and what the best way would be to have this conversation with him. I definitely wish you the best with this, and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.


Ryan

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