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I have just found out my partner has been having an affair for 8 months. He came out of a 25 yr marriage but notched up 20+ encounters, mainly sexual before settling down with me. I thought he would change, I thought I could change him. obviously I was wrong. He hasnt left me for this other lady, just finished it, and begs forgiveness. His ex lover has put his profile on a name and shame web page, basically because he promised her the world and delivered nothing. On this web page she wrote, which may I say is true....He is a sexual predator who uses dating sites to meet his new conquests. Every woman he has met has been through these sites. On being caught having this affair I also discovered he was on another dating site, which he has now deleted. He has promised me that he has realised through all this how much he loves me and begs for another chance. I still feel totally devasted by all of this and don't know which path to choose. Is he sorry because he got caught, or is he really sorry. He has said he wanted to break up with her but was just going to let it fizzle out before I found out. In the meantime his ex lover has contacted me and shown me the texts and emails he has sent her.....some very explicit and the last ones were sent before the day he got caught out. He tells her he wants to be with her, loves her, hates being with me and all the usual bull a man would say to his lover. I'm under no illusions about this man, I can see what sort of person he is but the botXXXXX XXXXXne is I love him so much and bizarrly can see he loves me. Is all of this an addiction. I also need to mention that I have been with this man nearly five yrs. I have always had my doubts about his fidelity because his ex wife had told me what he put her through. I did find e-mails on his phone from an ex girlfriend, they were also very explicit. I didn't think he was having an affair with her, but I knew he had had, when he was married, for 3/4 yrs. That lady tried to kill herself, I don't really know the details, except to say that my partner was the last person she contacted before taking an overdose. My partner had to inform the police and they knocked her door down and she was unconcious. I asked my partner was it because of him and he says no but I'm pretty sure it was.
You wouldn't believe what a really kind and gentle man he is, he seems so sincere and true. But he has proved to be a compulsive liar. Jekyll and Hyde traits come to mind. Can he ever change, its been 15 yrs now since he started with these flings.
How can I heal me, I'm devastated and worried about my reactions. It has been four weeks and its no easier. I cannot even speak about him without crying. Will I be ok.