Well, this day is one for the books. My mother's surgery was today at 11am. She was doing well at 8:30 last night with her bowel prep, and we were to pick her up at 9am today. I started calling her at 6am. No answer. After multiple calls she picked up at 8, mumbled something incoherent (maybe it was "I am not sure" when I asked how she was) and hung up. We raced over to her home (luckily I have a key) and found her just staring into space, unable to talk, smile, somewhat combative, etc.
I thought, this is a stroke and called the EMT's. Here I now sit, at a really good ER, one of the best, XXXXX XXXXX can find nothing much wrong other than complete aphasia, a 101.5 temp, no UTI, no stroke according to the CAT. (No MRI yet) and they are checking for meningitis. Really It is like someone replaced my mother with someone else. I am not sure if she knows who I am, although she makes some eye contact.
So I thought I would write you a bit and feel useful. I certainly do not right now.
Glad to see that you are still managing to be a doctor at a nurses salary. Dr a is his usual sharp self. Thank goodness you were there for the "blue man". That patient sounds like a peach. We had a lot of frequent fliers at my hospital too. Some of them just faked it so much that it was hard to take them seriously when something was really wrong.
Peter is a full blown pain the butt. You have been there a long time and should be able to get any shift that you want. Any. I fail to see why union rules do not apply here as seniority should (in a normal place) get you what you want without a major fight. Do you want 11-11? That might help a bit, right? I see that you are thinking on both sides of it right now and that 11-11 is really busy. But, if the shift allows you more time with the family vs the extra cash of the night shift, take the family over money. It is always the right choice and it is not like you are unable to function on a slight shift differential. You probably would spend it on something to deal with all the stress anyway!
Your feelings about Andrew are understandable. Why is it that parents do not listen. Of course he needs the smaller nipple and why fight that. He has colic and is fighting it and is upset and his routine is messed up and so on. He is going to be fussy. Thank goodness that this will not last forever and will pass. I know that you are hurting right now and really feel this, but things will settle. It is hard though not to call when you are so worried about Andrew. Who would not be? And dr b not picking up your patients? Hey, a little frosty feel to his day will not hurt him.You have to keep guys like this in-line you know.
See, you should be a Disney tour and vacation planner. It all comes so easily for you. And you think I am joking. I am not. Sometimes these talent things seem like something no one would want as a skill, but heck, I would pay for someone to arrange all of the trip details. It is worth it.
tmm1 was stung and is sulking. He will be back. tmm2. That is a fire brand you are playing with there. Your choice but I would suggest dumping him.
Manipulation is what chiropractors do. I state facts. You are sad about your looks....you just had a baby and feel dumpy about yourself. So, I encourage you about something you have already said about yourself. How is that manipulative? If that is so, all we do is manipulate. lol Steven
IM RUNNING TO WORK. IM ONLY ANS THE PART ABOUT YOUR MOM. I FIRST THOUGHT SHE WAS HYPONATREMIC DUE TO DIARRHEA SECONDARY TO THE BOWEL PREP. (sorry for caps)
but im sure they checked her sodium level. ask thm what it is. low sodium is the fastest way into the icu.. other than like bleeding to death. if its even just a little low. make them put all her electrolytes replaced. it helps mental status and elderly are very sensitive to it. you want her mag at 2. her k at 4 and her sodium (it vaires by test, so just tell them you want it over 135 or so. in the normal range.) but all that doesnt explain her fever.
i will talk with dr b, the other nurses, and any other drs i see who may be able to think of anything and tell you in the am. im so sorry this happened. i know yu were already worried about the surgery and the prep of course. the surgery is canceled im sure now right? theyre not goint to operate on someone blowing a fever of unknown origin. shes def septic. ill see what great minds here in ny can try to figure out. they did a chest xray? is she in the icu?
. its good its not a stroke. make sure they repeat the ct scan tomorrow. soemtimes a head bleed doesnt show up right away. or the mri both will show it.
did she have any evidence of a fall?
hang in there steve. well talk in the am.
hi steve, i and other staff at the er thought about your mothers case.
1st i want to say - the part where you essentially say that youre useless at the er. you are there as your moms son. not as a phd or a therapist. youre there to support her and advocate for her and make sure she knows youre there for her and shes not alone. youre not medical personnel right now.
youre upset and shocked and dont be so hard on yourself.
now what did the think tank at my hosp think? we think shes septic of course. we are all taking for granted that they saw her electrolytes and they were replaced if needed. and that urine and chest xray were normal. no one wants to do a lumbar puncture - so were thinking theyre seriously running out of options. now if her fluid is cloudy, if it seems to have pus, even bloody is an issue. it could be meninigitis.
were hoping that mom has already been hit hard with at least 2 if not 3 antibiotics. if its not meningitis, it could be a viral syndrome.
and we agree that we think that shes not aphasic. we think shes really confused. and its part of it.
we also hope that infectious disease has been called and is on board.
i have to go to the ob now. ill write when i get back. i hope hope that shes improved from antibiotics and fluids and tylenol. let me know whats known so far.
hows mom? did they do the lumbar puncture? the drug shes on is vancomycin. i would even give her zosyn iv. iv zosyn is a septic shock drug. saves alot of lives. thank god for it i swear. its the big guns.
mom should be getting normal saline..
dr b was my think tank early in the shift.
my night wasnt bad, but as usual i still had a heavy group compared to others. the nurse next to me had no pts for hrs while i had a 13 yr old girl with a ruptured appendix. she was really sick and i thought def a step down to possible icu pt. plus a chest painwith hr in the 30s.. and a guy with a rectal bleed that was just pouring out. and while it wasnt awful i was busy and the guy next to me had no pts. and no offer of help. when i got the guy with the pouring rectal bleed i could see the potential of him being bad, and i went to leo and said like.. why am i getting my 3rd and other people have no pts? he said who has no pts? tell me. loudly. i said you know who has no pts. arent you in charge? he still didnt know and i said chris is def 1 as hes watching me running around. he said he dpes have pts. he then saw hes wrong as a new nurse belinda had that pt. h said no i gave it to chris. i said really? cuz me and belinda worked it up. n i was going to say to leo like he should say like liz ill take that one . even if charge screws up. and a new per diem nurse colleen had 1 pt that was nothing n thn she had none and was told to go on break. i was nice at the beginning of the conversation.. n i stayed calm, but leo got really heated. he never apologized. he came a while later as i was quickly admitting and doing all the surgeons orders. he acted all nice in front of supervision. i plan on telling him - next time he speaks cuz im not cuz im sick of being dicked over really. steve if i suck so much why do i get it done? and if i dont suck why am i the kicking stone? im friendly and funny and really dont challenge or complain. so why cant i shake the shit off my shoes? i cant understand it.
which leads me to do i go to 11am to 11pm.
11 to 11 is the busiest time in the er. now it doesnt help that this week back.. well its been quiet. so its like if its like this... ill be ok.
icould still work sun mon tue- i could ask peter. and then it would open up that on wed itd be amore normal day. i think. id get home 1230pm. and id sleep some and i could take the kids or rest or whatever. on sun we never do anything b/c of my upcoming tour and it just seems my days are eaten up with that.
my concerns of course are being abused.. but i do like that im not day sor nihhts its like being a float. you come and people are happy to see you. youre an extra. jen d(the nurse who helped me when it was the hurricane and i thought my water broke..) is 11 to 11 and shes hoping i come so we can build the shift to be its own real shift. btw im so happy i met her. shes really just one of thos e salt of the earth down to earth people that you can tell anything to.
itd be kind of the best of both worlds in the sense that id see my friend son days and nights.. colleen on days jen on 11 to 11 (reg jen doesnt work with me anymore..) and terri on nights. dr b..
my concern of being mor eon days is that the brass is around. and well i dont want to see the brass. i want to be on the low down.
i have stupid hopeful thoughts that if im on days if like peter or anyone who mattered saw me.. maybe theyd thin oh shes a good nurse.. and maybe id boost my value there... but then i think its apipe dream. its like thinking my mom will become the mom i always wanted.
oh and drb. well he really stepped on my toes. i was busy with the kid going to the or (his pt too) and i had to go to the trauma room which was empty and i saw melissa and doris 2 nurses aides and we were laughing and joking it was like 6am. no pts were nearby. so we were laughing that dr a was seen walking really fast ass cheeks clenched.. and he said to sexy clerk what was in that salad?! she said i dont know. i just picked it up fpr you. you ordered it. he said this is all your fault!! and kept speed walking.. she was howling laughing as she realized what was wrong. i laughed too and i had the thought if he shit himself. well itd be a good day.
i told the 2 aides quietly and we were laughing and then talking about how big andrew wa and just laughing making fun of each other. so we were all talking laughing. well dr b was leaving and he walked by and said shhh. and then says to me shh i cna hear ou out here. i said were all talking. and i really hope youre not shh-ing me. the aides were saying the same thing.. so he says well your voice travels and hes still talking to me. i said you know what im walking away. the aides i can tell knew i was pissed.
he didnt say anything. now steve. ii feel like, well im there runnign ona quiet night. theres all this laughter and noise and i cant tlak to anyone b/c im so busy. and this happens alot to me btw. i always feel stupid when im so busy and everyone else is having a party. belinda the new nurse offered to help but i told her relax she came in sick. and it wasnt that i was drowning or overwhelmed but i had hrs of work. i went at a steady clip too. so its like oh if im talking or have a good ime i either get knocked down and told to basically shut up. (when these other people i work with arent quiet. theyre belly laughing or yelling across or whatever at 3am.) or they make me stop by giving me another pt. dr b didnt try to talk to me or say anything and didnt text anything. and well im pissed.
meanwhie the shift was going ok with us.. i guess he saw i was busy and i had just left a room and sat and i see him coem out and get a pt a blanket and go back and give it to them. i said oh its ok ill do it joe..
he said is ok liz stay there. i was just logging on to the computer to chart. he came back out and i said trying to get me too sleep wiht you? he said what? laughing.. i said giving apt a blanket? i mean coem on. see thats what get swomen hot... ding the laundry too. gets me hot.. and he laughs and says really? i said yeah. so i said see? you just learned a new trick. i said thats what its like to sleep with grown women. and it was an ok night til all that and being yelled at by charge which i think was also unfair.
it just makes me feel stupid. like. im literally the hardest working one there. with 3 higher level pts. belinda had a pt wiht dental pain and i have a gi bleeder a chest pain and a ruptured appy? what is this?
First of all thank you for all the insight into the medical world. They did do a lumbar on my mother. She is of course, clear, no issues there. She spoke to me today; slurred her words very badly and was somewhat confused about simple things like where she lives and the year, but way better than semi coma!
This post will be short, but I will add to it later as I have been off work and things got into a major pile up and I still have to deal with mom too.
You are getting dumped on. There is no doubt about that. The patients you were given were much more serious than the others and your "leo" sounds like one. A gruff decision maker who simply goes with his own thoughts and not yours, or better...any facts. What is it with that place? I get so concerned that they are run by a bunch of self absorbed people who as long as they look good, could not care less about you. Really. Would you have to deal with this guy on 11-11? If so, that might be reason to not switch.
The 11-11 shift seems to have some strong advantages and some not. Even after reading this more detailed post about what this might mean I have to say that even with the pain in the butt people and the added work, it is a nice shift. You come as a rescuer, more or less, and everyone like you. It has a much stronger "dump on you factor" I think and if you could tolerate that, it might be worth it. It would get you some extra sleep and give you more time with your family. That may be the tip factor too. Plus you moved on in some way if you take this and are no longer a victim of the night shift routine, which seems to be what they think you should be in, regardless. Sometimes an escape route might look like a sewer line, but it might be an escape, something that does not seem all that prevalent there. And if a sewer line gets you daylight as the end result, why not?
Dr b is having some reality testing issues. Yes, talking loudly is not the best thing in a hospital, but he handled it poorly. He acts arrogant, not typical, and he wonders why you feel burned? Ah, yeah....dr b. You have to be kind in what you say, even if you think it is an issue. And you are hard working. I know that. Maybe it is time to think about a shift switch to make a difference in your life now and to plan for the future.
I will catch you later Liz. Just wanted to drop a line now while I was able. Steven
hows your mom?
have they given you any idea on where they think the infection is? is infectious disease on board?
if i work 11 to 11 i will have to deal with both days and night shift. so i will be dealing with new animals. the day shift. so ... i dont know. it could be bad. peter keeps saying are you sure you want to leave the night shift? like as if id be jumping from the pan to the fire. when i started nights they told me oh its not too bad here. but i had awful night after awful night. as you know. but then they admitted it was alot busier than it ever used to be. they used to get a break by 1 or 2am things would slow down and theyd coast on thru the rest of the night.
it was really bad in dec i think they were very short and alot of flu came in. i cam eback and it seems better staffed... i cant figure out why peter isnt trying to get days better staffed as nights i better staffed than days. we have anew female manager on nights thyat just started. she seems nice enough. i dont trust her cuz well i dont trust anyone now. i asked kfc nurse - is the new mgr all right? she said oh she was just sick.. she has a bad cold (like as if i care about my fellow... supervisor..?) i said no. is she all right? i dont give a shit about her cold. kfc nurse was laughing and laughing. doris was at the other end of the stretcher and she was laughing too, shes like hey liz i missed you. as kfc nurse said youre f**king crazy. kfc nurse has been my bff since i got back btw. why? i dont know. terri has been a little colder towards me. she mentioned thta she hadnt gotten a picture of andrew, but i said i did send it when i sent afew other people at work. i know i did. she said she didnt. i said i was pretty sure i did. she spoke to me a few more times but that was it. and wendy really hasnt spoken to me other than yelling across the er welcome back liz!!
i have to say all the hey liz!! how ya been?!! it was nice. the er nurses are loud (i know you didnt know.. lol_ see thats why i would fit in with them back when i was my old self. loud and confident in myself..) and the pts even of course observed it, asking me where i had been to warrant such a huge yell out from so many people.
as far as disney. if you decide to go, i could book the whole thing for you. esp like kathy she didnt even know what hotek she was staying at. can you imagine? geez.
tmm1. no word from him still.
tmm2 texted me today. how r u lady? i said hey. who you calling a lady? lol.
dr b. hes in for a world of hurt on many levels. im going to be quite frosty to him. and i was looking at some clothes... and i kinda want to be able to wear some nice stuff. buy new clothes and fit into some nice new spring summer stuff.
i went to nthe ob and i wasnt sure if id be able t have the ob place the iud. i didnt know if they had them there and the billing etc. apparenly i need to go while menstruating. (ew) and he needs clean cultures. so i had my annual done and he did the cultures etc.
i got on the scale.. and i lost 52lbs. according to him. i have no idea honestly. i mean to be fair the baby was 35- 40lbs as he said. and my jeans are still tight. my uniform gets on but alos is tight. so i must need to lose like 10 to get back to pre (this ) baby weight. as i was thinner before the one b4 that and thinner b4 kate... yikes. whata f**king mess.
and i cant have my mirena done for like a month now. i have to call n then get in within a few days. i told this to rob who said well did they say this to you before? i said no. i woudve remembered. he said well they shouldve told you all this. i said yeah. i guess. funny now i still have 2 more visits to go and im going for a solid year.
and dr a. well he was distant towards me once i made it clear like.. ah im not back to fall for his bs. when he didnt get his heartfelt hello. hes been not talking to me. i had to talk to him b/c i had a pt id have to relay a message about.. but...thats it.
and i was thinking about the night premium. i may still make the same b/c after 4pm is nights for the hosp. so day shift makes 4 hrs on nights and id be there till 11pm. so id have some pay cut - from 11am til 4pm. the rest is night shift.. i like the idea of sun mo tue. and done. i feel like some of my time off is wasted dealing with the switch back from days to nights etc..and jen d told me they call for her to come in for days alot. so id have days like that too. i figure it this way.. i dont sleep anyway. so.. whats the diff?
i think i have spring fever. im all excited to have new warmer weather clothes and to lose weight and look good finally. and i think i will take some time off in the summer. like a week or 2.
So sorry for the delay in getting back to you Liz. It has really been something lately.
My mother's sodium is back up and the infection is under control. Bu they found she was anemic and added hemoglobin to offset the loss, she got a lot better and cleared mentally. But, this raised other questions of course, and on Monday she has to have an upper and lower GI to figure out where the bleeding is coming from.
It does not appear gynecological but could be another ulcer or even more cancer, although they seem to doubt that. Now that my mother is lucid, she is depressed about the bowel prep coming up, and I really do get why. But this will be a medically monitored one and I hope a lot more safe
Are you allowed to see what it is like to work the 11-11 shift without making a total commitment, like a beta test or something? You might be able to convince Peter that trial basis might be beneficial for all. And, I wouldn't hesitate to ask him what the mixed messages are about when it comes to moving from steady nights. If there is an issue that is known to him but not to you it is in your best interest to try to find it out.
Isn't it odd that things and tempo and the feel of a place can be so pronounced even after only a little more than a month off? You can see it with the staff and with the relationships that you have with all of them, both before and now. It will take a little time to get back into the feel of the place. You with all of them, and they with you.
KFC nurse is now your best friend? Could be worse, right? And Terri...sounds like a bit of minor hidden jealousy, at least to me. Some people hate it when the balance is thrown off and attention that normally goes on them is thrown on the one who resurfaced. I could be wrong here, but at a certain level Terri seems quite insecure.
I guess my protests about tmm2 are going to go nowhere...why do you encourage him with these comments about you not being a lady. You know he loves that type of low level joking and flirting. It only makes him try even harder. (unless that is what you want from him?)
Dr b. I agree. He needs some reality checks. If you want to torment him, so be it. He needs to be reintroduced to how you think and act anyway, and I think he needs to be reminded that you are not to be taken for granted, so go ahead. It might be fun.
I am impressed. You have lost a lot of weight. That is amazing and good for you Liz. That is terrific! And as far as feeling like it is an uphill battle to win back your old body, it is. And, each time you have to try a little bit more. But, you will do it. You are a determined person. I didn't know that placement of an IUD occurred during a womans period. Why is that the standard method? I can't believe that all IUD are placed at that time in the monthly cycle. Really? I am struggling with the significance of that pattern.
And Rob's attitude about the IUD? Is it because he has to wait on sex?
Dr a got a dose of reality from you and now he is smarting. (Oh sorrow for him.) I think it is way better that he doesn't talk with you and interact, so this is a good thing.
The pay issue with the shift differential. I still feel very strongly that if you can find out what 11-11 is really like that the shift differential is not that important compared to the advantages of the shift. Then again I am no the one who has to live with the result. You do. So, 11-11 is worth investigating, a great deal, before deciding. Steven
the bowel prep, well it may be medically monitored but depends onthe nurse and her common sense on all this and now itll be the big golytely prep. probably. which sucks.
im assuming the iud is placed at that time b/c the cervix softens/ dilates at that time. and i dont really care if rob is upset about the sex thing. he didnt know that after i hae it placed no sex til i get the 2 week checkup. to make sure its anchored and the strings are in place.
tmm1. whatever to him. still no contact.
tmm2. i find him funny. i cant help it. i think he thinks hed like to make contact, but i think he wont. hes too busy and he doesnt suggest like oh well do x y z..
Meanwhile i just found out a nurse who was an lpn - rob - but then became an rn (after me) is now on days. peter mentioned this nurse to me and i told him straight up hes junior to me. he said no hes not hes hired before you. i said yeah as an lpn. not as rn. so ifd he swas a nurses aide and became an rn would he be senior to me? njo. so now i have to decide if im going to fight this by calling the union. i had asked linda whos a union rep she agreed with my logic that hes junior to me.
but wanted to ask. of course she never got back to me. see heres the thing steve. sometimeswhen you fight all these things they bite you in the ass. theres repercusions. i mean if peter really doesnt want to see my fat face. maybe i should even forget 11 to 11 and stay on nights. i mean he could screw me like hes done to other nurses like marianna. the one he said took that pts meds.
as far as asking if theres something wrong with me? im not asking. if he had a problem he wudve called me in im sure. im not giving him a bullshit opportunity to tr y rto say something about me and for me to defend myself against bullshit. like dr a doesnt like me cuz i stand up for whats right. and even barely anymore. its ridiculous.
i mean i have like 1 1/2 yrs left. i can just say f**k it and stay on nights. b/c now ill have to call he union to fight it. and peter and this guy rob will hate me.
and somehow this will backfire on me. it just will.
Hello...Not sure what prep they will be doing but it did have the words eze prep in it. Magnesium something or other. She has to have it done, so that is the way it has to be. And they seem pretty good there at the hospital so I am hopeful they attend to her. I worry about this of course, as she does not do well when her sodium levels drop.
I didn't know that the IUP placement involved a two week no sex requirement. I guess now that I think about it that this makes total sense. If it was not in correctly there could be a pregnancy or infection or worse. So, makes sense to me. And if Rob can't make the two weeks, oh well. I am sure he can learn to control himself in the meantime.
I understand just what you mean about the situation with the union and a grievance on the 11-11 thing. Just so you have another opinion, without a doubt the lpn turned RN is your junior. Any union contract I have read about bump rights is always, and I mean always, about the time in the position in question. You are there longer, it is yours. If you fought it I have no doubt that you would win on that count. But there is a risk that the fighting could backfire on you as you said, and it may not be worth it.
There is a middle ground of sorts where you talk with the union rep (if they ever do talk with you) and make sure that you have a case. (I am sure you do...)Then, you can tell Peter what you found out and say that in spite of this you will stay on nights just to be decent. It may make your time there in the remaining 1.5 years a bit more bearable. Or not and Peter is odd when it comes to these sorts of things.
You are correct. The position should be yours, and no lpn turned rn should have the right to a shift that you want. Yet there is the fact that Peter seems to have a real thing for you to stay on nights and keeping him happy (I can hardly believe I said this), but I also know what biding your time means.
Really, this is not you. You are not cursed or some type of ignored person. Simply, this workplace has its own issues and is not the best. You are a victim of a bad situation and this 1.5 years of slavery, will end. I know that there has to be another place besides this one that fits you, and you have told me many times that you would not be adverse to finding something else when the time is up. I agree. Leaving after that time is a good (fantastic) idea. I think within moments of the time up process for your sanity. Steven
happy superbowl. fist bump.
or whatever guys do.
your mom prep is probably a bottle or 2 of mag citrate. nothing to mix. you just drink it. its not too big. supposed to be gentler than golytely. hopefully it will be. if shes clear tell her to thro the rest down the sink. ta dah. i drank it. but if shes not clear theyyll say the scope needs to be re scoped...
my 2 kids are actually sleeping right now. i wish i could but i need to get ready for work soon.
when i told rob about all this work crap he said so call the union. i said yeah im afraid ill be retaliated against. so he said so then just live with it. i said thx. he said what? i didnt do anything. and im not a f**king employment lawyer. i said yeah no kidding.
i feel like calling in sick tonight. 1st off im really just i guess dismayed at how im treated at this facility. which is why i wont go above and beyond for it.
colleen said take the 11 to 11 and tell peter you want days. in the meantime im 11 to 11.
i mean i guess i could do the 11 to 11 anyway. i was just starting to think ill do that. not be part of any shift. be an extra. live off the grid (thats the same if youre per diem.. or a float nurse. i was a float nurses aide back a log time ago. and it worked for me. i used to go here go there. good days and bad.. )
it worked cuz i didnt know what to expect of course.
i think it will be a busy shift. i think ive been busy on nights tooo esp with assholes who treat me badly. so, honestly i guess its really about the hrs. maybe ill feel better. or less ired. or like it interferes with my other days off. i wont have to work 3 in a row. i can split my days up. not see the same people. or drs. so maybe i should do it.
i dont think peter would be grateful or realize anything about my staying on nights.
i also realize that i knew this place would suck when i took the job. so i dont know why im surprised by these things.
as far as rob and the iud. well too bad. there is pain associated with the procedure (my problem of course) along with cramping after etc my problem also. seems like alot of things are my problem to figure out ive noticed.
there is def something wrong with me. cursed sounds like it. ignored would be a step up for me. in all aspects of my life. if im left alone that would be great. im going to lay down for 30 min before i have to get ready for work.
The Superbowl was pretty interesting I have to admit. Loved the Budweiser commercial with the horse, one of the best ones I think, ever.
Yes, magnesium citrate was what they used. She is done with it as of this morning and did not lose her mental capacity, but she is very tired and depressed. I feel badly for her. She has been in a week as of tomorrow and they still are not 100% on what to do for her.
I am sorry that you are not getting the support that you need from Rob right now. He seems snappy and harsh lately. I am not sure what is happening with him. Your understandably concerned about the union issue and just wanted to talk with him about it. What is the harm in that?
They do treat you with little appreciation at this hospital. It is like they ignore your skills and experience and promote others, almost by whim. I find that to be especially deplorable that they would not honor your time there. It is so obvious that an RN who always was an RB outranks someone who was an LPN, then an RN. It is basic logic, not even a union issue. Common sense would tell you that you have the right to pick and choose shifts as you have seniority. That place...pathetic.
Although I have said it a number of times now I have a very good feeling about your moving to the 11-11 and leaving the possibility of day shift open. You would be just like a floater and have to deal with less of the politics. You may get dumped on a bit more but I think that for you, your family and your sanity this may offer a way to get past the next 1.5 years. Plus, you can be more flexible with days and you always liked variety, a lot. It is what attracted you to emergency medicine in the first place.
I think your right about Peter. I doubt anything you do will make a difference to him. He seems to be a very closed book. And that is being gracious and very nice. I think there are other words that describe him.
I did hear that the placement of the IUP involves a twinge of pain and some cramping. Like I have said in the past, women's health care is barbaric sometimes. If men needed IUD's they could order them on-line and then use them as easily as shaving cream. Woman always have it rough.
I know you will fight me about the fact that your life is cursed. It is a challenge, for certain, but you do have lots of blessings too. Still, that doesn't help when you feel fried and ready to collapse. Speaking of the reason for some of this tiredness...How is Kate? Andrew?
i didnt see any of the superbowl. i was at work. (as usual.. and btw like only female nurses were on... other than rob the douchebag who took my position. and leo the nurse who yelled at me.)
i showed up and i wasnt on the schedule. so i thouhght oh good ill be an extra and ill make sure im quiet and stay low. except the charge nurse kept giving me pts. and another nurse from days aha a female on a hallway stretcher and the pt had abd pain. except.. she goes and codes. it was a shit show steve.
we gget her inot a bed an race anothe rpt out. and well the woman died. right in front of her daughter.
it wasnt a good look.
i stayed to myself as i was with the most pts most of the night and was busy. terri was next to me and i was happy to be there. i mildly busted her balls. we got to talking more and we spoke most of the night. she told me how she saw her 1st boyfriend from 30 yrs ago and she had no makeup on and she was so upset. i told her he wouldnt have stared for so lonf if he hadnt liked what he saw...
she had a pt who was sick, having several large bloody 9clotted ) bowel movements. at 2am after like 4 of these huge clots, i said do the drs know/ she said yes day shift old them. i said look get on the phone call the dr and make it an official call. she did and the reg dr came and wouldnt make decision. so she said call the gi speicalist ( at 330am..) so im sitting at the station and i say lets hope her h and h hasnt dropped. the reg dr was like what do u want me to do? i was like uh an h& h? i mean come on. so we draw it and were waiting for the gi dr. luckily the blood results came back and theyre 9 and 27.. so the gi dr calls back and were telling him everything. and the reg dr keeps saying make sure he knows you called him at 330. i didnt call him. so the gi dr says did the reg see her/ so terri say no. so he says why not? so she said i dotn knwo you should ask her. and then he says what i said. oh it mustve been old blood not new blood. so terri looks at me and says thats what the nurse next to me said before. so they get off the phone and she says howd you know that? i said b/c it was clotted. its not active its prob 24 hrs old or so. and its making its way out of the gut..
so i said terri was a me surg with heavy duty gi/ ob gyn/ oncology/ vent pts/ plus surgeries. and reg med like pneumonia and tb.
and i said hey i know soem things. she says i know i know. thats why i ask you.
meanwhile we have pts (or at least i do. terris pts are icu and mine are reg stupid pts..) and i have this guy who crashed his car from passing out. he says he doesnt know why , but i think its b/c he was drinking. he denies it. but i knew he was. so he got admitted and i had to put a line and he says do you know how to do this/ so i said yes, does it seem like i dont? he says no.. i shrug and go ahead, he says i crashed my car in brooklyn, can u imagine? i couldve been in an er in the city. in brooklyn no less. i said hey ive worked at hospitals in brooklyn!1 and queens and manhatten... he says yeah? i said yep. so he say show long are you anurse? i said 10 yrs.. the wife says really? i said yep. she says no. you look too young. i said oh thats nice of you.. she then tells him im going home can i trust you with the nurse? and he says yeah yeah... anyway he decided to put himself ina room - unassigned. anyways the charge nurse said no you need to be in the hallway. so hes back in front of us and i jokingly said hey. you get stay with terri here. isnt she beautiful? so he says yes she is... then he tells me the nurses are really pretty here.
i was going to tell him theres the proof hes been drinking but i left it alone..
meanwhile i didnt really speak to wendy other than a minute. and i didnt speak to rob going to days..
dr a and dr b both stayed away from me not much said and i was fine with that. pretty pissed about dr b and him thinking he could ever tell me what to do.
leo was there and he had yelled at me. and well i felt kind of isolated. i mean i leave these people alone really but i also feel like people only treat you the way you allow them to. and wendy telling me to shut up.. and leo yelling at me. dr b telling me im loud. rob taking my position. it just makes me mad. and i know it sounds childish but well f**k all this. like i said ignored would be a step up.
oh and btw the 52lbs i lost snt abig deal b/c one im still not at my original weight. and 2 andrew was 35lbs of it about according to the dr....
the iud. well i chose the one with hormones to also hormonally keep me from getting preg as the copper one scares me with the fact you can get preg and then it doesnt attach to the wall.
the copper one cna get preg and then id lose it.. which i dodnt lik.
You would think that being at work when you were not on the schedule would be a good thing. But here it turns out that you get in to a horrible situation with a patient who ends up dying, right in front of a family member. That would make you feel awful. I am sure you have seen your share of death, but this is just too much.
You were quite nice with Terri. I have to admit that seeing having a boyfriend from many years ago, staring...that could be a good thing. Then again I have stared at someone for completely the other reason. But I would not tell Terri that!
I have always said it. You are a very good nurse. See, you do know your clinical. Seeing that the blood was dark indicated exposure to digestive processes and chemicals and the blood darkened as a result. That means the blood was higher up. And your friend didn't know this? Wow...remind me to ask for you if I get ill in your neck of the woods.
How did I guess that you would take the guy's complement to the nurses and to you and somehow minimize it? Maybe he really did think that you all were great looking nurses. And see; you do look young, even his wife thought so. So there. More proof to contradict that negativity you have had lately about your appearance. And, I know...you feel you are not the weight you want to be and you feel you are not thin enough yet. You will get there but I do feel you sell yourself short; you are doing well. It has not been that long and you have dropped a lot of weight already. Really...
No doubt the people, from Leo to Dr a to at times dr b and so on can be a real pain. They are. And you are bot appreciated for who you are. That is for certain. It is not childish to want to be treated as a respected equal. You are owed that and when you do not get it, of course you are ticked off. I would be. These people can be very cruel. And they seem to ignore common sense and basic rules of how to get along with others.
And I don't blame you for wanting the hormone laced IUP. The copper one encourages spontaneous abortion; so why on earth would you want to go in that direction? No way. I agree with you: The hormone saturated one seems far better. A tubal pregnancy? Oh, that is just what you need.
You never told me how the children are doing. Are they okay? Steven
the kids are fine i guess. i havent seen them since sunday.
meanwhile the new schedule we didnt get it til last night at 12 mn for next week - this sunday and all my days are changed to sun mon thur. so i told our new manager.. who seems nice enuff. and i told peter who seemed distracted.
peter an di had discussed my schedule when i 1st called to return and he had said sun mon tue? i said yep.
i hope he fixes it. i dont have plans for the ends of the week b/c i thought i was scheduled for tue
anyway he said ill take a look at it. i feel like not even discussing it with him again and just going in for my reg days and being like you said it was ok to switch it. hes not over staffed his par is low if i work either day..
i talked to him about 11 to 11 and he said oh you have to wait for it to be posted it should be soon. (sigh)
dr b spoke to me. he told me i was doing a good job and i was going to say soemthing and then i said oh thx.
i sat next to wendy who was busy as was i - i helped by discharging pts for her.. she didnt seem too appreciative and she actually went out to break. then she offered to relieve rosemarie dr as girlfriend and not me. i had the thought why the f**k do i help anyone?
the pt terri had with the bloody stool. it wasnt dark b/c it was lower than the stomach and not digested. it was bright red but clotted. so that means its not afresh lower gi bleed. so it sat in the intestine and clotted. then we got ot see it.
i had a pt - who was brought in by 8 cops. he was driving under the influence - of drugs i guess. he def seemed glassy - and he flipped his car while they were in this hi speed chase. he crawled out of the car and ran inot the woods. and they couldnt find himfor an hour. they called canine units to track him (hes recently out on parole..) and the canine chased him as he was running the dog jumped to bite him and bit him ... in the balls. i thought he was being a baby about it, but i said i needed to see - i had amale nurse named patrick come with me and told him to touch him im not - and sure enough two puncture holes in his scrotum. and a ingunal hernia. the er drs didnt seem to care too much. drs a and b let him sit and wait for 3 hrs til the day shift came.
at least the cops were cute. the shortest one was like 6ft and the rest were all taller til like one was like 6ft 4 or so..
they were all nicce, and i had the thought that i kept to myself that well they couldve killed this guy in the woods. who wouldve known honestly?
meanwhile a woman 2 doors down was freaking out (shockingly not my pt) and it turns out the f**k i ha raped her 4 yrs ago and she hadnt seem him since and freaked. what r the odds? the nurses are trying too console her and im like just move her across the er my god.
it was an odd night to say the least there was a guy who had a t shirt on that said - with the monopoly guy with monocle (sp?) - if the girl has fake boobs im throwing monopoly money at her - with a picture of a girl on a stripper pole...
like fake boobs fake money..?
then we had this crazy woman who kep tyelling at nurse who i find annoying - named kerry - shes very stuck up and of course peter thinks shes f**king great - and shes rude to the pts. well either way - the pt was like i remmeber you from last time and you were a bitch then (and im thinking give it to her give it..) and kerry says i dotn remember you - and the womans like yeah youre the same bitch etc and just kept antagonizing her. and i was like laughing b/c i remember that woman and i remember them having this same fight awhile ago. whats even weirder is we were at the same assignments like last time. so iw as sitting on my side laughing..
as far as agreta nurse. honestly i realize im not. i make an effort, but there must be a reaosn im not successful. i obviously wasnt successful at my old job. and now here. it kinda proves it.
i saw my friend dan from days who i havent seen in forever and he was rubbing all against me. his dad died and left him a building thats worth 2.3 million in brooklyn - brownstone. and i had the thought... i should let him rub against me since hes got money here...
tmm2 texted me to see how work was.. and we only texted a few times as i was so tired i fell asleep several times while driving home.
it was weird but i was actually feeling like my old self for a little bit - like remmebering the way feb felt. valentines day etc.. i had soemthing that sparked those memories.
i mean i know ros not going to get me anything so theres no hopes of like soem romantic valentines day or anything...
but it feels like that early spring feeling.. and its snowed like a dusting every other day here for like 5 days...
well i have to get ready for work. i hope its not as busy. my legs were killing me at the end of te night. im having hat shooting pain you get from having a spinal/ epidural... it lasts like a year.
and i realize that it been 10 years that rob and i are together... and i was thinking.. despite the money... id lie to have another baby spaced at 2 years.. but i know it would set us back financially. but its been bouncing around in my head like a ping pong.
Mom went to a SNF late yesterday to recoup and get her strength back for the cancer surgery. My only concern is her 100 days of medical SNF coverage as I have to reserve time so when she is done with the surgery she has enough coverage for that episode of the SNF. But she seems to be a bit better...complaining, a good sign. So, I hope she does better.
Your schedule sucks. There is no doubt of that, and I swear you could just show up on the Sun,Mon,Tues schedule and they would accept it. It seems no one really keeps a close track on the scheduled days and I doubt Peter gets his brain out of the mud long enough to know what he agreed to in the past. 11-11 should be soon? How about asking HR? Can you do that? Of course at your place HR is run by evil gnomes and asking probably is tantamount to treason or something.
Why do you help other nurses? Certainly it is not for the massive thanks, XXXXX XXXXX kudos. Rather it is about the fact that this is who you are. Now it would be nice if someone appreciated the extra help. But even if they do not you would still do it as you want to be treated like that and doing so is your personality. So, even if they do not say a thing to you, or help you in return, I do not see you doing anything different, Despite the hard nose presentation that you sometimes give, underneath you are a giving person.
Dog bite to the balls? Ouch! Now that smarts. Well, you can't say he was attacked at random. He brought that on himself. Sometimes not dying is worse than dying. Being bitten by a dog in the scrotum and dealing with the humiliation of it. That is also a form of justice. And he had to wait...Oh well. And, how did a guess that you would see the cute cops? You know you mention firefighters and cops a lot. You have a thing for the tall blue collar guys who do dangerous jobs? Ever buy the firefighter calendar for yourself? lol
I really feel for the woman who re encountered the rapist. That is horrible and will re traumatize her for sure. She would not feel safe to begin with and that...that is just too awful. It is terrible how that all happens. I hope they got him out of her way, fast.
Fake boobs and fake money? Sigh...some men are so shallow.
Kerry got what she sowed. If she is mean to people she works with and sucks up to the boss well the patients will remember her and this kind of thing will happen. It is rare that you get to see some of the justice come around, but its often is a sweet thing. Really, you saw both justice and injustice in full swing this last work shift.
You are a great nurse, just unappreciated. It happens. I know really good therapists who never catch a break, are never favored by their boss yet are terrific counselors. It sometimes happens. But usually, at some point, things even out; they will for you too in the future. (I know you doubt this but it will.)
Rubbing Dan? Frotteurism is a diagnosis you know. But maybe if you have two plus million it is not...
I am glad to see that you had some good feelings about the season and time of year. And why would Rob ignore valentines day? Is he looking to get himself into hot water? That is a holiday that you just do not ignore as a man. Sad...certainly there is something he could do for you. You just had his son!
Baby bug already? Wow, you are brave. I would give that feeling a good week, and then talk about it...but maybe you are destined to have three. It is a good number. Steven
hi steve i started another question.
i have been worrying since last night that i somehow screwed something up at work, i only had 2 pts by the end but ti was a hectic night. between that heparin drip we sent up - i keep worrying did we set it wrong? and then at the end of the night i had a pt who was admittied for an accidental overdose of insulin. he forgot and re injected. so they wanted to just watch him over night. he had asked when i was rechecking his glucose why its so low? i said b/c with the 2nd dose it brought it very low and it peaks but it takes over 6 hr to wear off. in the am he was moved to another part of the er and the nurses aide dropped his cell phone and he said just dicthed him there (he seemed weird anyways though.. he takes 2 mg of xanax plus demerol for headaches which i refused to give out and told the drs so. i dont dspense demerol. these people are f**king crazy. i didnt even get demerol for labor - although they offered with kate not andrew) and he said that the hosp shouldnt think his insurance should pay or him to not to have a bed and i threw it in hsi face that he took an overdose. i said i didnt i had just tried to ans his question. i had him call me several times ina few minutes then and i had terri coem with me to be a witness, but. im afraid he made a complaint which pisses me off since everything was fine all night. i did recheck his fingerstick it was ok so he wasnt hypo glycemic.
i dont know. i keep tellign ym self its a false feeling. esp since its going to be 2 yrs soon for the incident that i started to speak to you about.. feb 11 is the date.. and i had that thing happe just like my old job - evaluated as soon as i get back. and a mediocre one at that just like the other place. i was thinking if i m workign so hard and its mediocre.. i mean imagine if i didnt really bust my ass.
and if thats the case.. well in a way why bother. its supid. its like me trying to convince soemone to like me which def doesnt work. i do honestly believe people dont change their opinions about you. i dont feel like staying to prove to peter ima good nurse. he has his favorites for whatever reason why i dont know.