Hello, I'm able to assist you. Welcome!
I'm sorry for your struggle in your marriage. It sounds like the divorce was necessary after 18 months of trouble.
Even if the divorce was "necessary", it is still a loss- like a death of sorts.
Are you available for a live chat?
im very confused re the way my es is acting, says he hates me but i feel he doesnt deleted all my photos but has left signs on his facebook of the day we wre married
Thank you for joining me. He ignores you with so much anger and hate- because you have taken a stand not to tolerate this any longer. You did it for you vs. "him" being the center of it all- that makes him angry.
A narcissist does not take well to someone taking a stand, meeting their own needs- you being first for once. He's mad that you left him. He may not be taking any responsibility for his actions.
He likely does not hate you- it's more that he's not getting his way, he's not in control right now- that fires him up.
What does it say to you that he left the signs on his facebook of the day you married?
it says to me that he still loves me and i do still him put he pushed me into it he also listened to so many people, one day hewill text another day i will sendlotsof texts with noanswer its killing me
He's looking to find something hurtful, something that was so precious, and wonderful and hurt you with it- because he's angry. A narcissist does not believe others should have a voice, an opinion, to take a stand. He's been used to it being all about him. Of course it is killing you- like I said even though he has hurt you so bad, you still have that love, and it feels like a death.
You taking a stand in leaving him, may increase the chances, if he truly loves and cares for you, to fight for you.
You can not tolerate the lies and cheating- you deserve much better, and you are seeking divorce, because you know that. You did not want your marriage to end- you wanted change, to be treated with the love and respect you so deserve.
by him eeping the sign on facebook what does that say to you as a professional and what should i nowdo
He will now have to make the choices, go on with his lies or seek change in himself. I'm not quite sure what the sign on the wall means- he may be looking for a reaction from you- do not react. Give this some time, if he truly cares and is invested in the marriage he will have to work towards making amends- not you.
You taking a stand and seeking divorce- do you think he ever expected you would do this?
to me it seems that he has erased all my emories except the day we married
This is so painful- I know- that hurts that he would erase the memories. Those pictures are still there somewhere- he removed them because you took a stand.
but why leave the banner on there with the date we married
Do you think he is surprised you are seeking divorce? What do you think the banner means- like you said- that he does love you.
yes i think he is, he is a very stubborn man he wanted 2 years seperation
I think the banner is left there to "empower" him in some way- cause you to wonder, to be confused, to hurt. Does he want to try and work things out? Have you tried before, such as marriage counseling?
no he doesnt, he says he just wants to get on with his life
Are you quite sure about seeking the divorce? How many years have you been married?
That's maybe a "dumb" question- who really wants to divorce right?
i dont want to, only 18 months, we were so happy thought i found my soulmate,how can i make hoim realise what he is doing
he has been married twice before baming them both for the marriage break ups
You had other plans for your future- a future with him- there is the loss of what you had hoped for.
but he listens to his daughter and they have said if hegoes back with methey will not talk
This man does not have a great track record with marriage- when things get tough he gets out. The million dollar question is - would he do the work necessary, take responsibility for his role in the demise of his marriages??
do you think a narcistic can really love and realise the mistakes made
He may have his daughter fooled- one person with her, one with you and his other wives. Two people in a sense. It does not sound promising with is track record- he's hurt you- your energy may be much better spent on getting away, work towards your own healing.
how can i make him see his bad ways
A narcissist may have to hit bottom, lose a lot before they realize a problem- one they have something to do with. Often times the narcissist is so out of touch with emotions other than anger- very stubborn that way- like you said.
will that change
You are powerless/helpless and that is very difficult- It will only change when others do not tolerate his behavior- however, that is when he jumps ship- blames others- not likely to change- I'm sorry.