Sorry Im from the UK. Post Natal Depression.
Thank you for the explanation. It sounds like it could be depression, maybe affected by the PND. At this point, if your son is 3 years old, then the PND should have passed by now. It could be that the PND affected you to the point that the depression comes back easier. But you can get treatment and resolve these feelings. First, check with your doctor just to be sure it can't be PND. You always want to rule out any possible physical cause before you seek mental health assistance. If you are medically cleared, then you probably have depression. Since there are several types, you want to try seeing a mental health professional such as a Master's level or Ph.D level therapist who can do an evaluation for you to determine what kind of depression you might have. That will tell you how to treat it. Therapy is often one of the best ways to feel better. Medications are helpful to deal with the symptoms of depression but they do not get rid of them permanently. Therapy can do that for you. To have a better chance at finding a good therapist, ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://www.bacp.co.uk/. There are also on line therapy options if it is hard for you to get to see a therapist. You may also want to try medications. They are helpful to ease the symptoms but they do vary in their effectiveness so you may need to try a few different ones to see what works for you. Each person has their own body chemistry and what works for one may not work for another. Also, once you take medication for a while, your body becomes accustomed to it and you either need an increase in dosage or you need to try a new medication. But they can help you deal with the symptoms until therapy helps you. Motivation is a very difficult symptom of depression. It often keeps people from helping themselves and reaching out to others. But support and self help are vital in helping you overcome depression. Consider support groups, either on line or in person. People who are experiencing the same symptoms as you are can offer invaluable support, ideas and companionship to help you feel better. Also, working on your depression at home can supplement your therapy or other treatment. Here are resources to help you get started: http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/ http://depression.supportgroups.com/ http://www.nami.org/ http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm Once you are able to reach out, you will start to feel better. Let others support you and offer help. You do not have to do this alone.
You can also learn to change your thoughts by practicing. Each time you notice a negative thought, replace it with a positive one. Keep a journal or just jot down your thoughts. Here is a resource to help you:
I hope this has helped you, Kate