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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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My wife has very man BPD traits...I have read much and of course

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My wife has very man BPD traits...I have read much and of course experienced it first hand. We are at the end, ready for a therapeutic separation....her reality of even who I am is becoming more dilussional. Do I tell her she has BP traits and to please get help or ????
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

As you may already know, often times people who are confronted directly with having BPD or any negative traits are quick to get defensive. However, if both of you are close to a separation anyway, you may be able to suggest attending individual or couples counseling. It can help to volunteer yourself as well to seek separate counseling, which may cause her to feel less attacked and defensive about going herself. It is not uncommon for people who are close to separation to seek counseling for themselves, so if you can get her to that point, the counselor should be able to recognize the BPD traits that you have noticed. In that way, if you can just ensure that she is getting some help for herself, it shouldn't take long to recognize problems associated with BPD and make appropriate recommendations for treatment.

If having that conversation with her opens the door to discuss your observations, there is certainly no harm in doing that as long as she is receptive. Typically the most difficult part of getting people to help themselves is getting them to realize that they do need help. If you anticipate a direct confrontation being a problem, then in that case going to counseling together or individually should help to pave the way to resolve these issues. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

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