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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1692
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Dear Dr. Keane, I allowed myself to be so positive about a

Resolved Question:

Dear Dr. Keane, I allowed myself to be so positive about a potential job situation and started to think about what I'd be able to do if I got the position when it became available to apply for, but now it’s all gone into just a re-organisation of staff in a different grade to me. I do know that it isn’t anything against me. I always do this, promise myself not to get my hopes up, and then on this occasion I did. I no I really shouldn't because I know the lesson in doing that. I hadn't got my hopes up for awhile, but then decided why not. Then it all led to such deep disappointment. I should have known that it would from past experience. For quite some time I actually stopped getting my hopes up about anything because that was easier to deal with any disappointment, so as I said, should have remembered that lesson. I know that it is nothing to do with my work or anything, it’s just that I was thinking again about the future, which, in my experience is rarely good because the disappointment when it comes hits a lot harder. I know I was never guaranteed the position anyway, but with the thought of the prospect at a chance at it, well, I started to think why not as I hadn’t expected it to filled in the way that it will be. I know I am lucky that when my position is no-longer to still have one my jobs. I really am trying to find some positives in all of this, really I am.
The behaviour technique with the child has worked well as there are positive marked changes in his behaviour. Speaking of boys I hope that your son’s home is habitable again after the flooding of last year that you told me about. That was silly in my previous post asking about if you had boys, or something like that, so sorry that I momentarily forgot for some reason… Hope you are having a good week. Call the Midwife started here for it’s second season. It’s looking good!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 1 year ago.

Dr.Keane :

Hi, sorry about the disappointment you feel. The idea that something you want may be attainable and being disappointed when it doesn't happen can happen over and over. You can feel disappointment and only when it prevents you from trying again will it be a problem. It's okay to get your hopes up as long as you can handle the disappointment without letting it stifle you in the future. Don't worry about remembering the lesson, we remember every time it happens but don't let it stop you from trying. Keep positive and know that something else will present itself as an opportunity and when it happens it will be worth all the trying you have done.

Customer:

Hi

Dr.Keane :

Glad the behavior techniques are working well, it's all about being consistent with them.

Dr.Keane :

Hi

Dr.Keane :

As for the flood, he won't be back in the house for a long while . There are so many still forced out of their homes, a real mess, but it will be fine, just takes time. Looking forward to season two of Midwives.

Customer:

I think that this time the disappointment or feeling of it has been harder to handle, your words are encounraging though and I know that you are right,

Customer:

Yes the behaviour technique worked very well.

Dr.Keane :

I can't stay in chat long, but actually disappointment builds determination at times.

Customer:

I am sorry to hear that his home isn't fit for living in. I hope his fortunes change soon.

Customer:

yes indeed it can, I'm usually quite determined, just hoping that kicks in again as it normally would do.

Dr.Keane :

Just give yourself some time, you can be disappointed, put it aside and then start looking around to see what else is out there.

Customer:

Well I did for a bit as soon as I heard and then I think the disappointment really started to kick in more.

Customer:

but like I say, I know you are right about needing to put it aside, especially so that I can juggle the other things that I still need to do.

Customer:

or continue to get the things done that I need to do.

Dr.Keane :

I tell people to have what I call a personal "pity party" for disappointments, allow yourself to feel bad for fifteen minutes and then push it away. Next day, ten minutes, then a few days of five and then just push it away!

Customer:

okay, I will try that.

Dr.Keane :

You can't allow yourself to get "stuck" in being disappointed. Have to deal with it and move forward without looking back.

Dr.Keane :

I know you will be fine, you are a good learner.....:)

Dr.Keane :

Have to go..if you want to leave more comments I will get to them after work...

Customer:

thank you. I think today I got a bit "stuck" that's all

Customer:

ok and thank you for chatting.

Dr.Keane :

you are welcome, we all have those days.....tomorrow will be better....good mantra...talk to you soon.

Customer:

:)

Dr.Keane :

keep smiling

Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1692
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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