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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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We have been married for more than 6 years and this is my second

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We have been married for more than 6 years and this is my second marriage.
1st question is till now my husband does not want to inform his family likes eg. sister, mother and two tenage children (Age 18 & 16 - unwed child) plus their daughter mum and furthermore he has converted to my religion (Islam) and he did not want his family to know. He was a Chinese man. I do not think that he is sincere and honest to me.

2nd question is I have three children from my first marriage, 1 girl (Age 24+) and 2 boys (age 12+ & 20+). It seems that he is not caring and loving towards them.
I am very sad and confuse. All the my three children detest hims alot.

3rd question is recently my senses, sense that he had an affair with a Philippines nurse. He is a personal driver. This Philippines nurse is hire by his boss. The nurse is staying in the boss house. Everywhere they are like a love bird - driving there and here sometime with the boss but always only two of them. He seems to be very close and fond of her. All the people includes their maids and some other drivers said that they are having an affair. But I did not see. People say "seeing is believing". My husband said that you have no prove unless I caught them but I am a working mum. How can I spy on their movement.

4th question is if I want to have sex with him he rejected saying that he is too tired and need to concentrate for work the next day. I realise that eversince he works there he is very cold to me. Did he lost interest in me but instead with others like the nurse or the unwed mum. He used to be very loving and caring to me, and no matter how tired he is, our sex life is very enjoyable but now is the opposite side. Please assist me, I am very unpset and lost at this moment.
If your husband does not want to inform others of his marriage or his religion then secrecy is not a good sign. If there is a healthy partnership then he should want to let the world know what he is doing. You can't make him be more open but you can make sure your have good boundaries. You need to request as often as possible the standards that you need to be happy. If they aren't honored then you have to decide if this relationship as it stands makes you happy. You can't make anyone be open and honest. This also goes to his secrecy about your relationship. If he can't stand up for you or with you there is something not positive about that. You don't have to have proof that someone is wandering elsewhere. Not having sex is not enough. Please don't have sex for many reasons. But there are other changes that signify that someone is unfaithful and you know what they are because you know your relationship. You can't really spy on them but look at the other signs. Lastly you should not have to ask him to be kind to your children. It takes a selfish person to act rudely to one's partner's children. You have to decide if this relationship is making you happy. If not will that change. You have to ask hard questions and look for honest answers
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