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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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Im currently in a marriage where I neither my sexual nor recreational

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I'm currently in a marriage where I neither my sexual nor recreational companionship needs are being met. The future looks bleak for this marriage and I was wondering when is the best time to call it quits? I'm the husband btw. Don't get me wrong, my affection and spouse attraction needs are met most of the time but being an adventurous, outgoing, and fun loving individual I feel I've married a 60 year old woman and she's only 22. She's far too reserved, lacks confidence, and has no willingness to try and fulfill theses needs. Please help.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to try and help.

Considering what you're going through in your marriage, it's understandable that you'd be frustrated. If you're starting to feel like there is no end in sight to these problems, then it can actually be best for both of you in the long run to consider calling it quits if you know that it's not going to be possible for you to be happy. Resolving issues like this does depend on both people working just as hard on these problems, and if she is unwilling or uninterested in stepping outside her comfort zone and won't allow you to help her, then it may continue to be an uphill battle.

As long as there is still some common ground and you're willing to try and work through this, it may be a big help to look into marriage counseling. As long as she also wants to make the relationship work, it is certainly possible that with both of you working together that you'll start to make some progress. Marriage counseling would typically be the last step before calling it quits, and if nothing else, it can be a big help in confirming whether or not it is possible for both of you to be happy together.

Perhaps things were different in the beginning of your relationship and there is a way to recapture that? Sometimes it can be a big help to trace your steps back to the point where you were last happy together. That way you can figure out what changed or when things went wrong. Otherwise if this is just part of her personality and who she is, there may not necessarily be something to "fix," but that this is more of a personality conflict. If that's the case, you may have to decide for yourself whether that is something that you can personally reconcile, compromise on, and be happy with. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.


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