How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
54658078
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am going through differen problems which finally affect me

Resolved Question:

I am going through differen problems which finally affect me mentally and affect my productivity I am afraid I will take wrong decion I need professional help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.

Are you unable to seek the help of a therapist? What is your main concern right now?

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


I am married for 25 years love marriage and have 3 children 2 grown up sones studying abraod and one teenage daugher. I have always had difficult relation in my marriage. my elder son and my daugher are demotivated and have problems in their studies for the last 4 years. My husband have financial dept for the last 8 years. I have been solving about 70% of our expenses.

Last year I thought many times about divorce but didn't because my daughter will be sitting for IGCSE this summer and I don't won't to change the country. The communication beween me and my husband is very poor especially if we have to solve serious problems I don't know

where his dept came from we had a big fight last months and he seems depreesed for long time chronic depression but I never thought about it til last year when our son faced some problems in his study.

Do you think taking a break from work will help ? I am thinking of moving from the house and leave him alone.

I feel now I don't won't to work I have great disappointment in my life. I alway been successful I always put efforts achieve my goals. But now I can't concentrate to do my work I am researcher with PhD. I feel my mind blocked when I start to work or read a publication. Sometimes I cry I have feeling of failure. I want to give up on everything work marriage being parent

I don' know what to do? I need the job as my children depend on me and they are all still studying. I feel the whole family needs help.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

It sounds like you feel unhappy in your marriage. If it is due to your husband being depressed, that is a common reaction. When your spouse has depression, it can be difficult to cope. Your spouse may not be willing to help himself and he may take his problems out on you, making it hard to make your marriage work.

If your husband is not motivated to get help, then that leaves you to decide how to react. Leaving the marriage is one option. It is understandable that you don't want to separate until your daughter is done with the IGCSE, but you still may want to start the process now.

One of the first steps in considering a divorce is to see a counselor. If your husband will go with you, then that is better. But if he will not, you need to go on your own. This gives you a chance to talk through what you feel and decide if divorce is your only option. Plus, seeing a therapist can provide you support which is very helpful when you are struggling to make the right choice.

If you do decide to divorce, depending on where you live, there is most likely a process to go through. Contact an attorney and see what steps you need to take to complete a divorce. Divorces may require several steps including a period of separation until you are allowed to permanently separate. So find out what you need to do before you take any actions.

Also, build up your supports so you are not alone through this process. If you have supportive friends and family, talk to them about your situation. See what options they offer and take them up on any help they can provide. They can be invaluable in helping you through this difficult time.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
The remainder of your post just came through after I responded and I read the rest of your situation.

Leaving your home for a separation might be a good idea. That can provide some time for you to sort out what you want to do without the stress of living with your husband. You may also want to see a counselor just for yourself. The symptoms you describe sound like a stress reaction or possibly depression. So talking to someone can help you work this through and develop other ways to cope. You are in a tough situation and that can cause all kinds of symptoms.

You may also want to try reading this book:

Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel

It can help you decide what to do.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes, I have lots of problem. I feel my mind just want to stop. I am only
concerned that ats this point leaving the house might not be the solution as I have been in this job for 10 years well esablished and I am afraid that I don't have the energy to start all over again I need a job as my sons are studying abroad and my daughter also needs supports.


I am also going through menpause period with lots of problems and health issues like endometriosis and I have secured medical insurance here. I also live abroad and have been working hard all my life but now I feel life doesn't worth it.


why my brain stucked i used to be very clever? is it temporary or permenant I don;t accept failure easily therefore I have always don' gave up.


If I move I need to settle somewhere I might not succeed?

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
It sounds like the combination of the marriage problems as well as the physical issues you are having may be causing you to feel depressed and out of sorts. Feeling that life isn't worth it is a sign that you might need to talk to someone. It can be that you are feeling so overwhelmed that you have run out of the ability to cope. That is when it is important to bring in others into your situation that can support you until you feel better.

Try talking to a therapist and exploring the options for either leaving or staying in your home. Also, it helps to weigh both sides of the issue by writing down the good and the bad of each choice then deciding what to do from there.

You may also be struggling with your thought processes because of the menopause. It can cause difficulty thinking because of the change in hormone levels. Your doctor may be able to help you with that.

Kate





May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

 


I would like to ask that my questions and your answers should not be seen by others I will appreciate if this will be confidencials.


 


when you say therapist do you mean psychologist or psychiatrist.?


Do you think if I take 3 months off will it help me to take the decision?


 


 

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
After you rate my work, you can ask the moderator to make your question private. I don't have any control over that process. Please just be sure to provide a rating first as I will not get paid for my work if you close the question first before rating.

Yes, a therapist can be a Master's level, Ph.D or a psychiatrist. Most psychiatrists handle medication, but some do therapy too.

You may want to talk to someone first before deciding to take off work. Sometimes it can be helpful if you feel work is adding stress, but if you just end up sitting around feeling more depressed, then it may be worse.

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Can I ask who is the moderator?

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I will refer your question over. Thank you for the rating! Take care

Kate

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education