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I'm sorry for the struggle in your life. This sounds very difficult- anxiety is tough to live with.
Have you experienced anxiety or depression in the past?
It would be great if you could join me for a live chat
I have had depression issues in the past when I was in highschool. My father's side of the family suffers a lot from it.
Thank you for joining me Hello!
This history made you more susceptible for sure
It sounds like fear is driving this
are we done chatting now?
You may have shut part of you off as a defense mechanism-to protect yourself- unconciously. Now he triggers you all over the place. You identify extreme fear once you "confessed". Figuring out what this anxiety and fear is trying to tell you is key. Not a,llowing yourself to get close is a symptom of the fear-again- to protect. FEAR, being afraid-when afraid we pull awayor shut down.
I'm sorry it showed you were typing
I just want to get back to how we used to be and if feels like we never will. i feel like I dont know how to get back to normal
Do have an idea why counseling was not helpful?
Yes you want your old self back.
the counselor was very dry, I just thought maybe we didnt mesh
I was thinking about hypnotherapy
Counseling and maybe a trial on low dose of medication is the typically recommeended treatment.
I'm not comfortable with medication at this point, I want to try everything I can before I do medication. Do you think I can fix this? If I'm feeling 'no love' for him at some points, does that mean I am falling out of love with him?
Yes a different mode of therapy- worth looking into, A good place to look for treatment providers is Psychology Today website. No I don't think you can answer that unless the anxiety is treated first.
Does this happen often to others do you know? Does fear make people do these things? I feel so alone, like I'm the only one that is going through this
You can not know if you do or do not love him until those layers are peeled away. You may be "numb"- again as a defense. It's quite common-you are in good company- I see it daily as a therapist
I somewhat understand, but I did love him immensly when we got married and right after, on my good days I feel it. When my anxiety hits, its the fear talking I think. I just cant believe that I might not love him anymore
It can throw you off- you did not ask for this- has come uninvited-need to figure out what "it" wants. A separate identity of sorts. Does this relationship remind you of one from the past?
I think I'm just blown away that I did things to him. I feel so upset with myself. I think that I am blown away that I did those things to him in the past. My dad cheated on my mom when I was in highschool for years. I fear that I dont trust myself.
I think your thoughts are anxious and fearful thoughts- maybe not accurate. I suppose when you get to the root- you will know if you are no longer in love. This may have opened a big can of worms related to your parents.
ok, I feel that I know i love him, maybe i'm just not attracted to him like I used to be right now. I wonder what the root could be. It scares me- i dont want to think that there could be something worse waiting for me
You are not your parents-even if you said you'd never do such a thing- you are human. Do you remember being angry at your Dad or Mom? No it may be just the stuff we are talking about today- be not afraid-it will be okay- this can get better.
Very very angry with my dad for years. Just recently we have gotten better with our relationship
i feel that my husband and I are very needy with each other. he had a distant mom and my dad wasnt home and my mom worked a lot. we both didnt have that much attention. My parents were caring, just busy all the time
Concentrate on some deep beathing, relaxation, and getting some exercise. The symptoms are treatable. It may be worthwhile to tap more into the family stuff for more insight.
ok, yeah i need to stay positive. I will probably get more therapy
Your parents were distant and now you are distant- something may have triggered that. You may have learned to rely on self more-then it became clingy-have to strike a balance.
I would encourage therapy- you will find one this time you mesh with-
Journal writing can help
ok thank you, XXXXX XXXXX try that
You took an important step to look at this- good job!
You are welcome -please let me know if I can assist you again.
i've been getting having panic attacks when these feelings come on, because i'm fighting them. I
Yes give those emotions a place- they need to be expressed.
ok thank you! Have a good day
Your fight or flight - danger button has been pushed-can be exhausting,
yes very exhausting!!! i'm tired all the time
Take a brisk walk- even if it's cool. Would you be so kind to rate my answer ok or higher so I can get credit- Thanks,
of course. thanks!
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm I'm sorry meant to include this link for additional information. Best wishes to you. Thank you for your post and rating.