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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I have been told since I can remember that I dont listen. I have worked harder to i

Resolved Question:

I have been told since I can remember that I don't listen. I have worked harder to improve in listening. But still get told this... Now a days when I am told it angers me. What do I do to fix this. And eventhough I have worked on this what do I do to improve and realize that I have made improvements in this area.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like you may have adult ADHD. Difficulty focusing on others when they talk to you can be a symptom. Although it is possible that you do not have adult ADHD at all or just have some of the symptoms, you may want to explore the symptoms and see if they seem to fit you.

ADHD is not considered a learning disability. For adults who have the disorder, it is characterized by trouble concentrating, organizing tasks, remembering information and completing work on time. Up to 10% of children are diagnosed with ADHD and 60% of those carry the disorder into adulthood.

The criteria for Adult ADHD is different than with children. Here are some common symptoms you might experience with the disorder:

Anxiety
Chronic boredom
Relationship problems or Marital Difficulties
Impulsiveness
Tendency to overlook details
Not paying attention during conversations, inability to listen well (in any conversation)
Easily distracted
Emotional difficulties
Impulsivity

Medications can do wonders. The medications work by stimulating the pre frontal cortex of the brain. This area of the brain remains in a less mature state (ability to organize) and has trouble dealing with the impulses from the central part of the brain where wants and desires emerge. The medication simply "wakes up" the pre frontal cortex further and allows it to function as it should.

These medications do have some side effects such as possible sleep issues and changes in appetite. However, for short term use, they are usually considered safe.

To find out if you have ADHD, an evaluation with a mental health therapist (Master's level or above) can provide you with a diagnosis and treatment options. Talk to your doctor about a referral, or you can search on line for a therapist at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php.

Once you have a diagnosis, you can also use self help and support groups to help control your symptoms, if you have ADHD. Here are some resources to help:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

http://www.add.org/

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo and Edward M. M.D. Hallowell.

It is not clear if this issue has caused you to have trouble finding someone to marry. Many factors go into a relationship so it is not clear if this is the cause or there are other reasons. Talking to a therapist can help you get to the root of why you have not had any success yet in finding a spouse.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thanks kate, sounds like a possibility but not 100%. i am not sure if medication is a good idea as i am training for my commercial drivers license. have to be very careful with taking medications. as anxiety about


success and money, chronic bordom i relate a little. the rest not sure about... but i feel like i am going to be isolating myself driving tractor trailer. But i wont have anyone jumping down my throat. i am looking forward to the opportunity and i know i can be successful. juat think the companies and the people i deal with are not exactly good fits for me weather it is work or family. not saying i dont love my family they just dont seem to treat me rigjt if u know what i mean. they mean well and are a great bunch a people but have their own lives to live i get it. i just got to get my life but not sure how much ofa lifevi will on the road...

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
You can have some of the symptoms and still qualify for the diagnosis. Very few people fit all of the symptoms. That is why it is important to have an evaluation, just to be sure.

It may help to figure this situation out so you know how much of it is affecting your relationships and your work. Sometimes it can be more than you realize, especially if you have lived with it for a while.

Kate




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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.