Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you may have adult ADHD. Difficulty focusing on others when they talk to you can be a symptom. Although it is possible that you do not have adult ADHD at all or just have some of the symptoms, you may want to explore the symptoms and see if they seem to fit you.
ADHD is not considered a learning disability. For adults who have the disorder, it is characterized by trouble concentrating, organizing tasks, remembering information and completing work on time. Up to 10% of children are diagnosed with ADHD and 60% of those carry the disorder into adulthood.
The criteria for Adult ADHD is different than with children. Here are some common symptoms you might experience with the disorder:Anxiety
Relationship problems or Marital Difficulties
Tendency to overlook details
Not paying attention during conversations, inability to listen well (in any conversation)
Medications can do wonders. The medications work by stimulating the pre frontal cortex of the brain. This area of the brain remains in a less mature state (ability to organize) and has trouble dealing with the impulses from the central part of the brain where wants and desires emerge. The medication simply "wakes up" the pre frontal cortex further and allows it to function as it should.
These medications do have some side effects such as possible sleep issues and changes in appetite. However, for short term use, they are usually considered safe.
To find out if you have ADHD, an evaluation with a mental health therapist (Master's level or above) can provide you with a diagnosis and treatment options. Talk to your doctor about a referral, or you can search on line for a therapist at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php.
Once you have a diagnosis, you can also use self help and support groups to help control your symptoms, if you have ADHD. Here are some resources to help:
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo and Edward M. M.D. Hallowell.
It is not clear if this issue has caused you to have trouble finding someone to marry. Many factors go into a relationship so it is not clear if this is the cause or there are other reasons. Talking to a therapist can help you get to the root of why you have not had any success yet in finding a spouse.
I hope this has helped you,