I would like Kate McCoy to answer this question.
Kate, something very interesting happened to me today. I told you about the project that I didn't finish and was getting nervous and anxious about it. Well, it grew into a panic attack. It wasn't as bad of a panic attack as I've had in the last week, but it was definitely noticeable.
As I was pacing around, I started thinking of what the trigger could be. I kept thinking to myself that I resolved the issue with the celebrity I'm a fan of. I convinced myself that she's ok, and I believe she's ok, and will continue to be ok. But the panic was still there.
Then I started thinking about work. I work as a librarian at a community college, and last semester, the dean of our library gave me a really big project to do, and I was under the impression she said she wanted it done by the time the semester ended. I worked and I worked and I worked on that project all semester. Actually, it was the only thing I worked on. Then the semester ended and I was on semester break for a full month (Dec. 14 - Jan 14). Also, during the semester, new projects were dumped on me while I was trying to work on the one the dean gave me.
I also thought about how I was usually tired at the end of every semester, and came back to the next semester completely refreshed and ready to tackle things. Well, at the end of the semester where I was working on my project, I felt like TOAST. I was more burned out than I think I've ever been at that job. And when I came back, I felt better, but not as refreshed as I normally do.
I also had a few sleep disturbances over the break, one coming on Christmas eve, and then the one where I started worrying about the celebrity.
But the thing I noticed most of all, is that when I acknowledged how tired I was from the project I was doing, and how exhausting it was, and how stressed out I was over it, MY PANIC WENT AWAY! It stopped cold in its tracks. I was nervous today from approximately 1:30 pm today until 6:45 pm. and 6:45 is when I came to my realization.
Does it mean something if a panic attack stops dead in its tracks like that?
Do you think that maybe the celebrity wasn't the problem at all and that she was simply a trigger to explode all the built up tension and frustration from working on that project for so long?