I am worried because I need to know that he is safe and seeking help, whether its with me or with a family member. He lives alone, and I am the only person he has in the area. I don't know how to ensure he is cared for properly. I am even concerned that if I ask him he will push me away, or even lie and tell me he is getting treatment.
To emphasis the severity of the situation, he was planning on proposing to me last week on our trip to San Diego, but he told me not to come at the last minute. He says hes not sure what to do, and knows he loves me and my son and wants us to all be together, but feels emotionally incapable and scared and doesn't want to burden us.
He has sought treatment in the past, but refused to take his medication. While in the moment of hysteria of telling me this, he says he doesnt want to live in fear of hurting us, and us coming home 5 years from now to him hanging from the ceiling. I kept assuring him that I am here for him and we'll get through this together. He said, "you promise? good bad or ugly? because this is ugly and it can get worse" He said we'll be okay, and we promised not to give up on each other. I am convinced that he truly believes this when I am there with him, which is why he has always wanted me there when he is going through this. What scares me most is that he forgets that or convinces himself otherwise the moment he is alone. That he "gets dark and you don't know what I'm capable of", to use his own words. Do I believe what he tells me? I don't want to break his trust and make things worse, but I also need to know that he is getting help. It is possible that he will convince himself that he's fine, not get help and move on, but he truly isnt ok. He told me to give him a week, and agreed to let me check on him if he doesn't reach out to me. But I have this unshakeable feeling that I shoudn't just stand by and do nothing. I am concerned about our relationship of course (which we both have said there are no words to describe, we understand each other at the soul level, and have always been able to get through anything) but most of all I am concerned for his well being. Do I wait? Do I call his mom? Do I just go over to his house? I am paralyzed with fear right now.