Hello, I'm sorry for the wait in getting a response. You are right you need some support and help. Of course you are anxious. Considering the situation you describe, it's no wonder you are anxious, and fearful- feeling like you are living in a prison. It is vital for you to move, even though your daughter is giving you grief. You will be nothing to yourself nor your daughter if you remain where you are living.
You made the best move getting out of an abusive relationship- that's a tough thing to do. It's difficult feeling free even after you leave an abusive relationship, especially when he lives so near you. When we experience trauma it's normal that we would feel anxious, fearful, and hypervigilant. It's not unlike what happens to the soldier when they have experienced trauma in the war. You are a warrior yourself and you have been through a war of your own. You are free, and will feel more free and empowered if you move. Every part of you screams fight or flight- in other words- get as far away from him as possible.
One thing to consider with your daughter, is to validate how she is feeling about the move, that it's nothing personal against her that you are moving. You will be much more effective and available to her as a mother when you move, and feel more safe and at peace. With you living so near your abuser, you are in such a state of panic
, it's difficult to function. It's sort of like if we see a tiger in the jungle- we naturally get away, and likely not return to that area. He's like the tiger, and you are naturally wired to want to flee, separate from him, get as far away from him as possible.
She may be feeling anxious and worried herself and will realize, maybe a bit later, that it was important for your well being and mental health to move a distance away from him. It's tough making these decisions when you are so anxious and depressed. Even more so when your daughter gives you such grief about this.
You are doing exactly what you need to do, moving away, in order to get on the path to healing and recovery. Your daughter will have her mother "back" as you begin to feel better. I'm glad to hear you are seeing a counselor and taking medications that may help you. Because of the situation and the related panic living so near him your medications may not work until you get away from him. Continue to seek out the necessary support to help you through this, especially if you have to live there much longer. You may want to look for domestic abuse support services in your community. They often offer crisis counselor, crisis line, and support groups for survivors.
Even though your daughter is angry now, she will realize later you had no other option but to get away from him. Your priority is to get to a place where you will feel safe and you can then be more of a support and resource for your daughter. First and foremost it's vital that you care for yourself- grandma to be!
Please continue to post questions or comments until you feel you've gotten the information and or support you need. Congrats on getting out of that relationship- that's a big and important step- one step closer to healing.
Thank you for your question, I look forward to hearing from you.