Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like that when you argue with your spouse, it may trigger the trauma you suffered in the past, bringing up those feelings.
When you have suffered through a trauma, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. You have been through something that caused extreme emotion. And often after a trauma, people become more in touch with those feelings, especially if they have not worked through them. When something upsetting happens, the emotions get triggered. The feelings become so intense that you are unable to cope with them and you experience symptoms like you do.
If you have not worked through what happened to you in the past, it is a good idea to consider doing so as a first step. Initially, that can feel overwhelming to consider. But through therapy and self help, you can take one step at a time. And as you work through your feelings, you will begin to develop ways to cope which will help you with anything that upsets you. Even if you have tried therapy and did
not feel it helps, consider trying again. Sometimes it can take a while to find the right therapist who can support you through working out your emotions.
Try talking to your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php.
While your medication is helpful, medication can only take the edge off your symptoms. It cannot deal with the original issue which will still bother you until it is dealt with.
You can also learn more about how trauma affects you through self help. There are numerous on line and in person support groups as well as resources that talk about how trauma affects you and what you can do about it to help yourself. Here is a resource to get you started:
It may also help you to learn progressive relaxation to give you a way to calm down when you begin to experience these symptoms. Here is a link to help you learn how to use this technique:
The more you practice this technique, the easier it will be to use it to help yourself feel better.
I hope this has helped you,