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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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I felt in love with one girl at work. She pretended that she

Resolved Question:

I felt in love with one girl at work. She pretended that she shares the same feeling with me at the beginning. Later on, she has changed dramatically, and all what she started mastering is the art of hurting me, from I don't like you that much until you are not doing anything good, just delete my number. Anyway it was really hard on my own poor brain to handle the shock. I suffered from depression and low selfestime ,,,etc. Since that I see her at the work even i tried hard it seems I am not able to get rid of the symptoms of the depression due the keep asking that famous question of WHY. Anyway I want to check if there is anyway thing I can do to get back to who I am. and just move on. my brain is exhausted, keep thinking about her. I don't want to do anything. I feel life i wasn't fair to me. Searching for the meaning of existence,,,etc. this my problem. I want just to go back to how I was. I tried exercising, different supplements,,etc none of that helped any suggestion or recommendation here. Thanks Mountacir
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 1 year ago.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I'm available to assist you with your question Welcome!

Customer:

Thanks

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Your self esteem takes a big hit when something like this happens. Sadly, we tend to degrade ourself, "what's wrong with me?" when something like this happens.

Customer:

1st

Customer:

what is rate for this service?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

believe if you accept my answer when we are done, I'm pd 11 and whatever you pd. for a deposit. may want to ask customer service to be sure

Customer:

All right

Customer:

I see

Customer:

sowhat do you think over here?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm sorry for your struggle first of all- this is very difficult

Customer:

I know,,she planned for that. and I don't know why are some ppl over there

Customer:

who enjoys doing such thing

Customer:

Unbelievable

Customer:

:)

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Be assured that this is more about where she's at in life- less about you as a good and desirable person- hard to not take it personally of course! It's normal that we ask "why" we all do when we are "rejected"

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You think she planned for this?

Customer:

I think So

Customer:

I never said anything bad to her. I was the nicest person she could ever met :)

Customer:

But

Customer:

in

Customer:

one day

Customer:

She started enjoying the art of hurting someone

Customer:

snyway

Customer:

what happen happen

Customer:

we can not go back to the past

Customer:

right

Customer:

now

Customer:

I want to find away

Customer:

how I can ger her out of my brain and go back

Customer:

live your life how I was

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I think emotions and attractions just change- too quick sometimes. Most people do not set out to hurt others- they are thinking only of themself- and yes others get hurt. It's hard to let this go- do you think it's something you did and you want to correct it?

Customer:

Maybe because I was so nice :)

Customer:

I need to learn how be selfish

Customer:

and emotionless

Jean N/20pluscounts :

To get her out of your brain... Time for sure- also accepting that, of course you are hurt, continue to process and talk about it- allow yourself to work through the hurt. Yes- us nice people tend to get hurt yes! Sensitive is good, but yes we get hurt easier.

Customer:

So what do you recommend of here?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

A bit of selfish can protect us vs. "self less"

Customer:

are there any supplements or some sort of things do that you suggest?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I think reaching out with your post is an excellent start- get affirmation and validation you are a good person- regardless of what she has done- not giving her the power to bring you down

Jean N/20pluscounts :

To be honest when we are hurt in this way TIME is the best healer- along with support from friends and family.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Doing some journal writing can lessen the sting- get it out of your head.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Has this triggered something from the past- being hurt in some way?

Customer:

Maybe

Customer:

just the fact

Customer:

that my life

Customer:

that was looking for was in roses

Customer:

to good to be true

Customer:

Believed and the noble things of humans

Customer:

Honest

Customer:

nice

Customer:

do not lie

Customer:

do not steal

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Focus on you for a time- what makes you happy? Strengthening your self worth. When we get out hopes up, and it doesn't work out OUCH!!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You will find that rose- it wasn't her.

Customer:

Believed

Customer:

that one day

Customer:

I will me that girl

Customer:

that she will be that picture that I drawn

Customer:

when I was a child

Customer:

but when

Customer:

you grew up

Customer:

You figure out

Customer:

that everything

Customer:

is just a mirage

Customer:

and life

Customer:

is more like jungle

Customer:

Not fair

Customer:

no luck

Customer:

and last thing you would expect

Customer:

that you met

Customer:

her

Customer:

and there you go

Customer:

it turns

Customer:

to a 360 degrees

Customer:

emotional

Customer:

genocide

Customer:

:)

Customer:

Going after sprtual meaning trying to see is there any reality behinf life

Customer:

why are here

Customer:

Do i come by choice

Customer:

or just there no reality

Customer:

there is jus caos

Jean N/20pluscounts :

There is someone special out there for you- trust and have faith. We have dreams of what we want for our life- even as children. Reality is painful sometimes. Life is hard- for people- for sure. No not fair- but the hurt and struggle can make us stronger afterwards- you earn your "stripes". You thought this would be "it" huh- that this relationship maybe was the one, or felt good at first. When we are in the dark is when we are most enlightened. That comes later- as the hurt eases.

Customer:

all

Customer:

right

Customer:

so what is your advice

Customer:

?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

When you get down on yourself- follow it up with something more encouraging- being self critical does us more damage than anyone can do to us.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Identify things that may bring you more pleasure in life- separate from a girl.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Put your energy into you becoming a stronger person- and a relationship complimenting you.

Customer:

All right, I will consider all that

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Learning to love and accept our self is most important- cheesy, I know, but oh so true!!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Identify your strengths- write them down- remind yourself of these often

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Building from our strengths is a good place to start.

Customer:

All,,I will do that :) It was nice chatting with you but I need to go get ready for work :) we will follow up

Customer:

:)

Jean N/20pluscounts :

The good news is, you will begin to feel better- bad news- there is hurt throughout our life- no avoiding that. You are not alone- it's the human condition-

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Would you be so kind to rate my answer ok or higher so I can get credit?

Customer:

I will

Customer:

thanks

Customer:

and have a good day

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Thank you for your post today- have a good day too

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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Jean
Jean
Mental Health Professional
433 Satisfied Customers
Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)