I am a 50yo woman who after being married for 11 years, the last 4 or so being miserable, decided I had to leave my husband. There were many issues I had with my ex-husband, but the biggest one was his inability to control his anger and rage. My issue now is as per the terms of our mediation agreement, he owes me $50K and is refusing to pay. He does not seem to care that he is in contempt of court. He has left numerous threatening messages on my voicemail and doesn't even care that by doing so he has incriminated himself. We lived in a big house and I walked away from the house and the 10 animals that I had cared for for the past 7-8 years. It was painful, as they were my children, but being with him was very unhealthy and unsafe, so my decision to go, was one out of necessity and self preservation. We had equal amounts of money in our separate retirement accounts and rather than alimony I chose a lump sum payment because I just wanted to cut all ties and for each of us to go on with our lives. When we lived in NY, back in 2004, I had a good job. I gave up my career because he wanted to move to FL.
I had a job in a doctors office in 2005 as a receptionist, but as he grew his business and began bringing home pets, we decided that it would be best for me to work from home helping him with phone, fax and other clerical duties in addition to caring for the animals, the come, etc. The position I find myself in now is that of displaced homemaker. I cannot seem to find a job. If I had a job I would just walk away from the money he owes me just so I don't have to tell with the mental torture he inflicts on me. He knows that I am afraid of him and I am sure that is why he is doing what he is doing. It is his way for him to manipulate me into not coming after the money. Friends and my attorney are telling me not to walk away. I need the money and this is how this man has gotten his way his whole life by bullying
and he has to learn a lesson. But at what price to my health? I don't want to have a nervous breakdown. I have already been suffering from anxiety
between being out of work and dealing with him. My credit is in the toilet, also thanks to him, because when he was over-extended he had me apply for a mortgage for some real estate deals that went bad. I am currently receiving unemployment, but that only provides the exact amount of money I am required to pay for rent for my apartment. The money that I have that is liquid in my checking account is dwindling rapidly. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to change my name, move out of state, go into hiding the which is what one friend has suggested. I have only one family member, a blind sister in NY and she is not in a position to help me. I guess being a mental health professional and having dealt with all kinds of personality disorders, perhaps you can give me a little insight here so I can make the decision to either pursue the money he owes me through the legal system or just walk away from it and hope for the best. I have been told by two psychiatrists who have met him that he is narcissistic. He also has OCD and is and has been on Prozac for about 11 years. If there is any additional information you need to assess this situation just let me know. Thank you.