Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
I am so sorry for the tragic turn of events, so many years ago.
At least you are trying to turn begin a new chapter in your life, and it is what you must do.
If you have mementos of your previous relationship that are visible, put them away or give the away. Break from the past on this level. That includes pictures, recordings, gifts (big and small) and any other trinkets that may recall his memory.
I know that being in a long distance relationship is difficult, from my clients and my own personal experience.
Get a picture of your new love interest and print it out or have it enlarged, and put it, or several, in one or two strategic locations to remind you that there IS a potential future out there for you.
When you start to focus on negative incomes, very purposefully, on a clean sheet of paper, write down all the positive outcomes that could happen and could focus on them. You might keep this as a daily diary and might even do it as a daily morning ritual.
I strongly recommend this book, available at amazon.co.uk and elsewhere.
The How Of Happiness: A Practical Guide to Getting The Life You Want by Sonja Lyubomirsky
If I can be of further help, please get back to me and we can continue the dialogue. I am here to help you and give you satisfactory results.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC