I would like to help you with your question.
I have read thoroughly through your posting. Here is my assessment of the scenario. The man could have been playing a joke on the woman but it is a cruel joke at best. This was a terrifying situation and the woman did NOT overreact...she reacted as most anyone would to the situation. This type of behavior had not been part of their long history together and so there was very little way for her to understand and experience this as playing.
The man's explanation that this was "playing" is his explanation...but if the woman experienced this as terrifying and horrible...then that is her perception and she is entitled to her own interpretation.
Should she be worried about him causing harm. She is looiking at moving out
He states her perception is ridiculous and now is judging her as "un friendly" to him She is worried cant sleep cant concentrate at work due to lack of sleep
Her perception is NOT ridiculous...she was frightened for her life...unless she can see it differently he cannot change her mind. He has his thoughts/belief she has hers.
It would seem from her symptoms - can't sleep..can't concentrate...that she was likely traumatized by the incident and further hurt by his rationale - a rationale that did not ring true to her.
Could he do this again? or something similar? It would seem that he has learned that she does not see this as playing around - but, if he has changed his behavior in the last few months and now has some violent tendencies...then she should be cautious.
She might consider taking a break from the relationship by spending a few nights somewhere else that is safe for her. Let her get some good sleep, eat some healthy food...and have time to calm down from all of this. The pressure of being in the same place with him is likely too much for her right now.
When we don't sleep well...our thinking can become very muddled. Right now she is not feeling safe...and it would be very important for her to regain a sense of safety.
Is there more I can help you with? Or have I answered your question?
yes I agree
no that is good thank you again