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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Please help me with this problem. I have been finding tampon

Customer Question

Please help me with this problem. I have been finding tampon wrappers in my 12 year old son's jeans, and I have also found womens underwear with pads in them in his room and bathroom...what would he need these for and how do I talk to him about this? Thanks. BL please reply via this posting or text to XXX-XXX-XXXX
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It seems that your son may be experimenting with cross-dressing, or may just be using this as masturbatory props for fantasies, which is more likely the case.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He is at a very erotic stage of his life and these are sex aids for fantasies, and probably not harmful at this point.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I cannot reply to your email. It is automatically blocked and I can only see xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Customer:

We did find a BUNCH of pornographic pictures on his Nintendo DS a while back. I asked him where they came from and why he had them and he could not provide an answer. We took it away for over 2 months, I locked the internet on it and put a passcode on it. Now I am finding these other things and am not sure how to discuss with him. I am very concerned about what he is doing with the tampons as this could be dangerous....please advise

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

They are probably not dangerous. He is creating a play fantasy with the porno and the tampons. If he cannot have porno (which is more dangerous than tampons) then he will find other means.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He, like most 12 year old boys, masturbates very often. These are props and he will grow out of it.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you would like to talk to a professional sex therapist, you will hear the same thing. Do not worry. There is no danger here.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Keep him away from porn if you can.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He will soon grow out of tampons and women's underwear. They will soon be tiresome.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you would like to talk to a sex therapist (usually a licensed mental health practitioner with additional training and certification) go to this website for contacts. Click you state on the map.

Customer:

Ok.....I guess I am not a fan of this type of 'erotic props' and would rather offer some other 'source' as he has 2 older sisters and if they find their supplies in his hands it will be difficult to explain....especially the fact that he is taking girls underwear and putting pads in them and wearing them....Do I tell him to stop it? how would I tell if this is sex aids or an issue with gender issues?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I think they are sex aids and not a gender issue.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I am not a fan of this either nor do I recommend it, but raging adolescent hormones are a problem for 12 year olds.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Tell him to leave the girls tampons and underwear alone.

Customer:

is this something that I should discuss with his pediatrician?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That will be enough to put the chill on him. He doesn't need to hear anything else.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You could tell the pediatrician and he will probably tell you the same thing.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I advise that you DO talk to him or her.

Customer:

Ok... a conversation will be had with him about his 'habit'. I know that the process is natural and he needs to go through it. I guess I was not expecting the use of these kinds of 'props'. We are a catholic family and looking at porn is not taXXXXX XXXXXghtly....however, I will discuss and see if it stops or decreases.

Customer:

Thanks for your assistance in this matter

Customer:

On a side note.....do boys 'use' the tampons? or do they just look at them?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

They are "girl things". something of wonderment. They know what girls do with them and that is amazing to a young boy.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He will grow out of this. I am almost sure (not having talked with him) that he is a normal kid and will learn more about it as he gets older.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Most kids his age know much too much.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Childhood is not what it was, alas.

Customer:

I agree....childhood is quite different now days even if we try to keep them away from the media/internet etc....we do our best to put limits on these things and keep him busy with outdoor activities and sports....it is a constant battle.....Thanks again.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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